my sad life, need to make it better

[LateBloomer]

"When you are gay, you cry alone. Get used to it."
you never get used to pain but I know exactly what you mean, sorry for the tone of my email, please don't want to hear pull yourself together, I hear it all the time....from myself, I envy all happy people.

First of all, we never know what is going on in someone's private life. Some of us wear our hearts on our sleeve and some of us just put on a happy face (Americans are NOTORIOUS for this shit).

So, the point is, all those shiny, happy people (apologies to REM) you see, well, they may be or may not be so happy. Fuck 'em, who cares?

What's important for you is how YOU feel. The very first thing you need to do before you can improve your lot in life is be physically healthy. If your body is not fit, then your heart and mind will suffer.

My advice is to make your physical health a TOP priority. Eat right/healthy. Moderate the alcohol. Get some regular exercise.

Exercise above all will naturally release endorphins into your system. Endorphins actually make you FEEL GOOD. At first the exercise will be a major pain in the arse, but after about 3 months you'll start to CRAVE it. You'll crave that natural endorphin high after you finish a good workout. Not only that, but you'll SLEEP a lot better. And when you sleep well, your mind and body get repaired and readjusted for another day.

Take care of YOURSELF FIRST, you cannot take care of someone else until you're in good shape.

Good luck, I like the direction you're headed.

[lwh999]

Thanks latebloomer,
The advice you have given me I keep telling myself that, getting the motivation is what's stopping me at the moment, hearing someone else give me the same advice has more effect on me, you're 100% correct in your advice, I intend to do exactly what you say Latebloomer, I used to look after myself but have let myself put on a little weight recently and it's too easy not to cook and just have a Pizza when you are feeling low, I have to be patient and take it slow, I need to make improvements, I will read your last bit of advice many times to remind me, some people might think that to do these things is obvious, as I've said someone else giving you the advice is much better and makes more sense than me trying to tell myself.

[LateBloomer]

Thanks latebloomer,
The advice you have given me I keep telling myself that, getting the motivation is what's stopping me at the moment, hearing someone else give me the same advice has more effect on me, you're 100% correct in your advice, I intend to do exactly what you say Latebloomer, I used to look after myself but have let myself put on a little weight recently and it's too easy not to cook and just have a Pizza when you are feeling low, I have to be patient and take it slow, I need to make improvements, I will read your last bit of advice many times to remind me, some people might think that to do these things is obvious, as I've said someone else giving you the advice is much better and makes more sense than me trying to tell myself.

I know what you mean about the pizza. And yeah, we're all guilty of comforting ourselves with food and/or drink sometimes.

For me, living healthy is about building habits. I need a habit of good eating; a habit of exercise; a habit of resting; a habit of being quiet/contemplating/praying/meditating.

That said, let yourself take a day off too. I read that all we need in order to realize the benefits of physical exercise is to raise our heart rate for a 20 min period, three times a week.

Twenty minutes, three times a week. That's all you need. But like I said, after three months you'll crave MORE!

[zeon]

WH the way to make yourself happier is learning to love yourself for you... Look in a mirror and tell yourself your beautiful your lovely and your proud of who you are and bollocks to everyone elses views... I have had depression in the past because i wanted to look like the pretty boyz in the magazines but failed and i failed because i nlearnt to love myself for me as i am today not tomorrow

[0TC]

Hey LWH. I'm new to the forum and browsing posts. This discussion seems to have run its course, but I can't resist adding my two cents:

It looks like everyone is warning you not to stake your hopes on one big Thai excursion. I'm inclined to give different advice -- I say go for it, man! There's nothing wrong with adventure. It keeps life interesting and makes the sex great. Just keep a few things in mind:

1) No plan survives the battlefield. Don't expect any adventure to go the way you envision. Just stay loose and let good things happen.
2) No matter how miserable you feel, don't ever doubt the value of your conscience or your life. Don't hurt anyone and don't let anyone hurt you.
3) These guys are right -- "Getting it out of your system" won't make your sad life happy. So, regardless of what happens in Thailand, keep plugging away until you figure out what works for you.

TC

By the way, we are the same age -- 43. Best year of my life!

[ben]

Hi, lwh999

Just been reading some of this thread.
I sometimes think that I well grow old and lonely because am not able to bring myself to come out to the world. This forum is an amazing place that can give you some very useful advice if you care to liston.

One thing that someone here gave me was a link to a gay dating sight so I could meet other guys.
I made myself a member there and did meet 2 guys. Both as a one of thing. None I really fancied that much but I did learn moor about what I was looking for cos of this meets.

Try this place here.
man central
(I was going to give you the link here but apparently I have not enough posts)
Maybe you can find it from the name otherwise am sure someone with moor then 50 posts well give you the link if you wont it.)
I don't get to meet lots of guys there but that's just because am to damn fussy XD
And I got other problems that knock my confidence but that's another story.
I get mail from guys just for being logged in there and I haven't even got a pick up of myself.
Go there, Mingle there and chat with the guys there and am sure it wont be to long be for you find someone to have fun with and hopefully some love well come your way.
Give it a try, You have nothing to loss.