I feel so lost at times...

[Kodon]

Is it true that gay men & women have a greater chance of suffering from depression? I know i'm depressed, I've gone down that road a while ago. But sometimes, its as if medications don't do jack squat.
I've realised that I have a big problem with being alone. If i'm in a relationship, it's like i'm a lost puppy if the guy i'm seeing isn't rather with me, or in contact with me (call, text, IM etc). The same thing happens wirh friends, I get wicked sad if they cant keep plans we made, or don't want to chill.
I'm a financially independent person, but feel like i'm rediculously codependent on others to make it through the day. Sometimes I don't know if how i'll make it. I sound pathetic & absolutely hate it.
I posted another ? on here about an encounter with a straight friend. I've only known him for a WEEK, & now that he's gone home, I actually miss the dude. One week of daily contact, one sexual encounter, and I'm SAD that I've not heard from him.

Seriously, wtf is wrong with me?

[dfiant]

it is true that gays and lesbians tend to suffer from depression more than our straight counterparts and that is due to the secrets we have to keep, the lack of acceptance and understanding, the feeling that we are different because that is the way society sees us, the difficulty in finding a partner...everything can be challenging and constantly having to fight can wear ones psyche down as you try to find your identity and place in society. So everything that you are feeling is normal and part of a process that we all go through.

The hardest thng I had to deal with when I came out 12 years ago was I had to be careful who I talked to...I just wanted to talk about life, love, boyfriends and even though my friends and family were all accepting, they weren't there in the way that I needed friends at that time. So even though I was out I felt like i was still keeping secrets because I couldn't sit down and talk about matters of the heart, meeting Mr Right and all those things that are important to me like my straight counterparts could sit down and talk about their boy/girlfriend, husband/wife....even though my feelings were exactly the same as theirs, it was alien to them and made them feel uncomfortable.

I was lucky enough to have a couple a very close friends, sisters infact, that would take me aside and would listen to me, comfort me....and would go hot man spotting

Seriously, there not a thing wrong with you, your thoughts, your feelings, your need to human contact at this time in your life is completely normal and part of your process.

Maybe you just need someone to talk to, to get things out of your system so that you can deal with these things, bottling it all up does make you feel isolated. Could I perhaps suggest counselling, not because I think something is wrong, but because a counsellor is TRAINED to listen and offer you the tools to come out of your depression. Talking can do so much more than any little tablet can do.

[Kodon]

Thank you, dfiant. I've been contemplating therapy for a long while, bur the idea of it actually gets me nervous. Idk, it's like i'm afraid they'll say "damn, you sure got issues", or call me out or something. Plus, this recession doesn't really allow a $70+ /hr payment.
It's funny. Humans can design buildings, medications, cars that self park... But the one thing we can't figure out is ourselves.

[pellaz]

... I'm a financially independent person, but feel like i'm ridiculously codependent on others to make it through the day.

nothing is wrong.

look for another person that feels like you. Aside from that put more activities in your life. gym, theater. get a junk sports car or sportbike and take it to a track. It may be dangerous beyond your belief system but it demonstrates more love your self than the generic prozacs can.

[Kodon]

nothing is wrong.

look for another person that feels like you. Aside from that put more activities in your life. gym, theater. get a sports car or sportbike and take it to a track, it may be dangerous but it demonstrates love your self.

Lol I already own a 92 camaro that I take to the track. :-)

[Pix]

I vaguely recall a study that suggested people who saw therapists bounced back from their depression or other issues as fast as those who didn't go to therapists, so they may be overrated.

It's true some claim to have been helped a lot by them (of course others claim to have been helped by cults, illegal drugs, etc), but there are plenty of horror stories to match those as well. One therapist in training told me she was having to undergo therapy because too many people got into psychology to deal with their own personal issues, failed at it, and went on to project their issues onto their clients and so doing more harm than good.

And btw, psyche meds can sometimes be good, but they can also be bad. IIRC, taking them for too long uses up certain chemicals in the brain (very similar to what E can do, IIRC) that make it impossible to be happy without more and more of the drug. And in my observation plenty of people who were helped by psyche meds eventually broke apart, needing more, and basically acting like people who used illegal drugs to solve their problems and feelings of alienation.

Just to be clear, I'm NOT saying that counselors and psyche meds can never do good, just that they deserve a lot of caution. And also that maybe you shouldn't feel bad if you can't go to therapy as it might save you wasting money for something that doesn't work or even makes things worse for you. There are a lot of alternatives to therapy though I wouldn't even know where to begin as there are so many and which one might be promising for you would depend a lot on what works for you. And given how starved you are for being with someone maybe a counselor is just perfect for you (though OTOH it's a professional rather than personal relationship and that might not work for you).

[TuxSky]

I used to be the same way when I was depressed only I was never in a relationship, just desperately looking for one (in the wrong places too). It got so bad that I just shut myself out from everyone and stayed home for about a month which only made my depression worse.

I was embarrassed that I was feeling that way (thinking I was pathethic too) so I told no one until I was forced to admit I had a problem when my school called and my family found out I didn't attend school in a month. My family was very accepting and comforting and it was nice but I didn't feel that much better. I ended up telling my friends (it was hard because I was so embarrassed) and they too, were very supportive! They organized a big night out and all my close friends were there, a few more of those and I was back in action, maybe even happier than ever before.

If you think you're depressed, you probably are and the only way to break out of it (from my experience) is by getting a group of supportive people around you and the only way to do so is by telling people about how you feel.

It's normal to feel like this so don't beat yourself up for feeling like this. That sounded unnecessarily wordy, lol. I'm with pellaz when he says to go the gym and stuff. Find a hobby, get busy somehow and you'll realize you'll start feeling happier. As cliche as "learning to love yourself" sounds, it really does help.

I hope you feel better!

[Kodon]

I used to be the same way when I was depressed only I was never in a relationship, just desperately looking for one (in the wrong places too). It got so bad that I just shut myself out from everyone and stayed home for about a month which only made my depression worse.

I was embarrassed that I was feeling that way (thinking I was pathethic too) so I told no one until I was forced to admit I had a problem when my school called and my family found out I didn't attend school in a month. My family was very accepting and comforting and it was nice but I didn't feel that much better. I ended up telling my friends (it was hard because I was so embarrassed) and they too, were very supportive! They organized a big night out and all my close friends were there, a few more of those and I was back in action, maybe even happier than ever before.

If you think you're depressed, you probably are and the only way to break out of it (from my experience) is by getting a group of supportive people around you and the only way to do so is by telling people about how you feel.

It's normal to feel like this so don't beat yourself up for feeling like this. That sounded unnecessarily wordy, lol. I'm with pellaz when he says to go the gym and stuff. Find a hobby, get busy somehow and you'll realize you'll start feeling happier. As cliche as "learning to love yourself" sounds, it really does help.

I hope you feel better!

I guess Ru said it best... "if you can't love yourself...". I know where you're coming from with the mention of the 2 month period. That pretty much sums up my entire 2010.
Idk if complete depression is the issue. When i'm with people I feel great. When i'm not, I feel pretty low on the awesome scale, which has recently resulted in alcohol & drug use. It's wrong, I know. But everything's better when I've been drinking.
And THANK YOU for the

[pellaz]

Lol I already own a 92 camaro that I take to the track. :-)

ap1 s2000 here