Loving and Supportive

[AirBorn]

Well hello everyone! First, thanks for taking the time to read my first thread. My story seems to be a little unique in comparison to other threads I have found thus far...

Well to make a long story shorter, my serious boyfriend of almost 9 years and father to our child, just came out to me that he is Bi (11.14.2011), a date I will never forget. He says he has always known this since he was young but had suppressed those feelings due to the fear of the unknown. I took it well (not, I cried...ALOT), to my much suprise. Lol. It came out after our first couple drag shows we went to see to support a friend of mine and a couple of nights out to a local gay bar (the best dance club in town!) (A note to any woman, if you dont want to risk your man coming out to you as bi or gay, don't take him to a gay bar).

Bottom line is this.... I dont have regrets because everything bad and good, happens for a reason, whether we like the outcome or not. I am glad that in a non intentional way I have helped him not only be more comfortable with us as a couple, but within himself to be comfortable in his own skin. I am glad he is starting to find inner peace (which we all should have) and begin to live life as the "real" him.

I am here for support through this difficult and unpredictable future ahead. I am here to find continued ways to make things work with us. I am here to find continued ways to nurture and support his needs.

If you can't tell already, I love him dearly and we decided to stay together... and why would I leave him? he is still the same man I fell in love with, just now more honest and open, which was needed anyhow.

[Almac]

Hi Airborn, you're so right he is the same man you fell in love with almost 9 years ago and an honest one telling you, it must have been a real hard thing to come out and admit that to the women he's sharing his life with. I wish you both a very happy life together, because this is a real lovely positive story. And it's nice to see more girls on Gay Speak.

[AirBorn]

Thanks Almac! I am happy that the first response to my first post was a positive one. I know it was hard for him, but I could see in his eyes of which were so close to mine, as we layed there side by side (<<< lol, that rymed, yes you like my mad ryming skills j/p), that it just felt so wright for him to be expressing this deep secret with me. I could see a sense of relief as he looked at me and said "I am so glad that is out now".

I have given him my word that I will NEVER take for granted the trust he bestowed in me that night. <3

[pellaz]

... (A note to any woman, if you dont want to risk your man coming out to you as bi or gay, don't take him to a gay bar) ...

better that its out there than on the dwn lo but dont think the gay bar had anything to do with it. Again you had little to do with him being BI. born that way. Is he mostly gay or mostly straight?

I dont have regrets because everything bad and good, happens for a reason, whether we like the outcome or not. I am glad that in a non intentional way I have helped him not only be more comfortable with us as a couple, but within himself to be comfortable in his own skin. I am glad he is starting to find inner peace (which we all should have) and begin to live life as the "real" him.

I hope you the very best, you still sound conflicted and hope you two can reach a amiable consensus. There are a few publications out there on amazon.com, be sure you two read a recent text as thoughts on this have changed even in the last year.

i lived with my wife in a straight relationship for many years. Initially because the daughter was not out of the house. In all honesty i would have continued to live with her afterwards, other issues put us apart. I felt i told here i would always be only hers. We are the thinking animals and I could have / would have made it work?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hi welcome to the board!


Your OK, He's OK. This sorts of things tend to work out as long as the couple keeps the line of communication open.

[dfiant]

Your man was going to come out regardless of weather you went to a gay bar or not, all it did was bring forward that time by presenting him with an opportunity.

The love and support you show him now will be rewarded in the long run with love and loyalty.

[AirBorn]

Pellaz ande Dfiant - I agree that this may have come out eventually, but I feel that the feelings he had bottled up for men where able to surface more easily by being in an environment that was prominently filled with others who had feelings like and/or similar to him - and fortunitly the environment brought out the best of him and made him feel comfortable. (He danced with me for the first time in our 8 + year relationship!! And oh yeah he can rock the Carlton Dance. lol)

Pellaz - I know "I" did not have anything to do with him coming out. It was all him, he could have more easily (subjective) just stayed "in the closet". I am proud of him for being humble enough to be honest with me and more importantly, to himself about his feelings.

I am VERY proud to call him my guy.

[Rainbowmum]

If you can't tell already, I love him dearly and we decided to stay together... and why would I leave him? he is still the same man I fell in love with, just now more honest and open, which was needed anyhow.

First let me say, hi and welcome.

Realizing that your man is still the same man you fell in love with , is a step in the right direction and tells me that you are very commited to your relationship.

It must have such a heavy burden for your partner to carry all this time.
Coming out is one of the most difficult things to do, it takes a very brave person to do so, and a very supporting person to accept it and support it.
He must consider you , not only a life partner , but also a great friend.( Be proud of that)

It came out after our first couple drag shows we went to see to support a friend of mine and a couple of nights out to a local gay bar (the best dance club in town!) (A note to any woman, if you dont want to risk your man coming out to you as bi or gay, don't take him to a gay bar).

Sweetie ,
It was not the gay club, nor the drag shows that made him come out.
Trust me on this one. ( I have taken my oldman, to the Sydney Mardi Gras, and the after parties several times, and he is still the same man I married years ago, bless his heart.)

I am glad you found this forum ,
There are some awesome caring people here, and the well of wisdom is indeed bottomless .
We are all here to support and listen without judgment.

[AirBorn]

He must consider you , not only a life partner , but also a great friend.( Be proud of that)

I sure hope so, cause that is how I feel about him.

[chillythoughts]

congrats to him coming out to you and congrats to you for supporting him. welcome to gayspeak.