Tough time comming out

[Ydaqic]

Fuck this! I Should just have played along... Everything is just up side down. Think i have to move out of town, should never gotten out of my closet. I felt I had to tell my gf about my sexuality eventually and delaying it would just make it worse, but I wasn't sure how, lucky we had an old (And expensive) bottle of whiskey left. It was very stupid of me :frown: . All i remembered was waking up in a park bench near the trainstation with a massive hangover, so i call her and she doesn't believe that i am gay, instead she thinks i have cheated and doesn't find her atractive any more with her pregnancy belly and has trown me out of the apartment. As i had no place to stay so i went to my parents and they asked why she kicked me out, I thought i could be honnest since they are my parents. So i tell them the truth and gets out to them with my homosexuality, they were bit confused then they took it as a joke. It took time to convince them that i was speaking the truth and my fathers face just became redder and redder, he didn't say anything but he left the kitchen right after. After seeing that my mother told me to leave. As i did with still no place to stay with even more people mad at me, so i went sleeping at a hotel. But obviously I couldn't sleep. Hope some will turn out cause i can not sleep in a hotel in a long time it costs so mutch. Lucky for internet and computer here anyways...

[wakeboarder]

keep your head up. ive had a really hard time this last week after i came out to my wife with whom i have a 5 year old son with. some days will be hard. some will be a breeze and you will have more confidence than you remember having in years. today was one of the hard days for me. but any way. you have a LOT of people on here that are here for you. we all need to remember that.

[interesting]

Oh dude I am so sorry for what you're going through right now. Just know that what you have done is so courageous and a much better person for going doing it. Coming out has always been the hallmark of being gay, it's defining who you are and let people appreciate the real you.

Perhaps you should continue to talk to your girlfriend and explain what you're going through, perhaps keep the communication line open because she's confused, and this is big news for her to digest. She may even possibly get over the denial phase and come to accept you and love you for the person that you are. Cheer up, I hope everything will work out for you in the end.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Try this: http://www.aarus.ru/

I think it is the Russian AA - I do not read Russian.

You have more than just a coming out problem, you also have a drinking problem. alcohol is NOT going to make coming out easier, it will only make it harder. Waking up on a park bench and banning vodka bottles for being empty may be 'funny' to a point, but they are serious signs that you have a problem.

As for people denying, that is normal - even expected in many cases. It most likely will take time for the people in your lives to adjust to this new idea.

They will most likely go through the same stages as people go through with Grief:


1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance.

You girlfriend is most likely in three stages, or swiftly moving back and forth. She is denying it, is angry at you and it and is bargaining, in her mind your cheating on her is easier to accept than you being gay. Thus she is making a bargain inside, telling herself that its 'just' another woman... at least there is hope that you will go back to her. Your being gay is a certain end.

I have no idea where your parents are, but they are most likely working through the same process tree.

These things take time.

[Ydaqic]

Funny you speaking about grief, isn't that the feeling when someone close dies? But i guess your right, banning vodka bottles?... Oh ye right now i remember :redface: . It is just so easy to rely on, as things like this are though.

I've tried to call her all day long but she just rejects my calls, except one time when she picked it up and said ''Cant you leave me be!?'' crying hysterically.

As for my parents I've called them once and my mother answered and said ''Are you really a fagot?... (Awkward silence)... What have I done to raise a fagot? You have never been it, you are cheating on your wife, with all that booze you drinks its inevitable.'' Kind of a wake up call hearing that from her i must say. I've always seen it as controlled although.