My boyfriend is giving me mixed signals and is he gay or bi?

[confused17]

In answering your question I am not 46. I must have made a mistake in the year when I put down my date of birth when registering.

I went up to see him last night and he had some company over and we all got along good. After the company left he went into his room and he didn't talk with me and I decided to just sleep in the other room and not bother to go in. I tried to go in later and say something but he didn't say anything back.

This morning I got up and he was taking a shower and I told him I had to go to the bathroom. He said close the door it's cold. I said to him your in a good mood and he said I have a headache the size of a country. I didn't say anymore to him. The guy that lives with him came home at that point and when he talked with him he had conversation and didn't snap at him at all or mention his headache.

This goes to prove that when it comes to me that I don't mean a thing to him and he will find whatever he can to take out his anger out on me such as his headache but when it comes to the other guy he talks with him and doesn't cop an attitude with him. This is when I realized who was more important in the situation.

I guess my question is this. If he is playing games with me which it sounds like he is doing with mentioning things in front of this guy that he lives with and what they have tried to do why does he bother to want to be friends with me?

I have tried to leave and end things and when I do he always contacts me and so forth. It is that he won't let go. But, why would he want someone to come up and visit and be friends if he is doing all of this? It seems to me that he would just want to end things and if he doesn't care why does he continue to want me to be in his life?

After giving much reflection I honestly think that he is truly gay. I think this is why he keeps going back and forth with his answers and in everything he prefers guys over girls when it comes to living with him. He keeps many secrets and that is what seems to be a large part of his life. I think that when it comes to doing stuff with girls whether one-on-one or the threesomes that he does it because he is really gay and by doing stuff with the girl he takes that revenge out of the girl that he is gay and therefore this makes him feel that he isn't totally gay and that when he does do stuff with the girl in a threesome him and the guy involved are making her feel really low and this is where I think his gayness comes out but he feels that by doing something with a girl in the situation it is how he copes. Do you think this has any merit?

And when he said that he wouldn't accept a friend request from someone he doesn't know, I am glad my friend did it because it shows again that he lies because he doesn't know my friend whatsoever and it must have been because he was good looking that he did. I have been with him when he was reviewing friend requests before and he wouldn't accept unless he knew them. This proves that he lied and that my friends looks must have played a major part. Particularly when he mentioned the city and school that he attended, but just mentioned someone else name and then said I am meeting new people. He was obviously thinking about my friend.

Please give me your input and I am coming to terms with the fact that I need to make changes and that he isn't honest with me. I think one thing that is definitive is that one day he is going to come to a pressure point or breaking point and that he will have to make a decision as to what he is going to be because lets say he likes the threesomes him, a girl, and another guy that say if he was able to have something like that eventually it would come to an end because it would be a temporary thing as one of the people involved would get tired of it and I think that he is expecting unrealistic fantasies until he wakes up and realizes who and what he really is.

[confused17]

Oh a couple more things that I forgot to mention. He mentioned to me one time randomly that he had a friend over to his apartment and that he and his friend had been in the bathtub together naked. He said that they would run around the apartment and so forth. Later he said that his friend and him had their boxers on and that they were just drinking and hanging out in the bathtub together. This is where his version of events changes. And he also told me that he had hopped in the shower with this friend, his girlfriend, and himself is where the threesome comes into play. So it is as if he does things exclusively with a guy and then he also does the threesome thingy. A couple of people had mentioned that they have seen him and his friend nude in the bed one time when they stopped by the apartment. He denied this but when others mentioned it his wasn't vehemently about it like most would be if it weren't true he seemed not so upset about it as most would be if it weren't true.

The other thing is that about 4 years ago he had a gay friend that he would hangout with and this was from this same friend that I just discussed. He said that he would go to the gay bar and dance with them. To come to the point he had been with a couple girls that were lesbian and one of them sent him a message about him liking a certain color and also asking him when he was going to come out of the closet?

He says that all of this was an experimental phase but if that was the case then why did he keep going back and forth on his answers and now it is almost 5 years later and when you go through an experimental phase you certainly don't go through it, then get over it, and then go back to it for in my opinion this length of time and if this girl asked him when is he coming out of the closet and his past situations seem to more than substantiate that he is gay but that he does things with girls with one-on-one and threesomes to try and not make it like he is.

When we have been to bars too I have seen him look at other guys and he will look from the crotch up and up and back down to their crotch and down. This has happened when he has been drinking. I caught him doing it to this one guy that he said that he wasn't interested in and he also did this rather recent when a guy had gone by he had done the same thing. And when we go out he never makes it a point to strike up conversations with girls and I have never seen him describe girls as in-depth as he does guys on how they look at all.

I don't understand why he bothers with me when it is obvious he has many issues and many have stated that he seems to have a lot of mental issues. I wanted to add this along with my previous post so that you can get an idea of everything so that it can help you assist me as to how you interpret things and as stated I need to make a decision as to what I should do.

[zeon]

Best thing to do is tell him go to foxtrot oscar ajnd find someone else.... Your be better off alone... Or burn alice dj better off alone onto disc post it through his door with play me! and then walk away the lyrics will make him think if his decent at all

[WesHollywood]

In answering your question I am not 46. I must have made a mistake in the year when I put down my date of birth when registering.

I went up to see him last night and he had some company over and we all got along good. After the company left he went into his room and he didn't talk with me and I decided to just sleep in the other room and not bother to go in. I tried to go in later and say something but he didn't say anything back.

This morning I got up and he was taking a shower and I told him I had to go to the bathroom. He said close the door it's cold. I said to him your in a good mood and he said I have a headache the size of a country. I didn't say anymore to him. The guy that lives with him came home at that point and when he talked with him he had conversation and didn't snap at him at all or mention his headache.

This goes to prove that when it comes to me that I don't mean a thing to him and he will find whatever he can to take out his anger out on me such as his headache but when it comes to the other guy he talks with him and doesn't cop an attitude with him. This is when I realized who was more important in the situation.

I guess my question is this. If he is playing games with me which it sounds like he is doing with mentioning things in front of this guy that he lives with and what they have tried to do why does he bother to want to be friends with me?

I have tried to leave and end things and when I do he always contacts me and so forth. It is that he won't let go. But, why would he want someone to come up and visit and be friends if he is doing all of this? It seems to me that he would just want to end things and if he doesn't care why does he continue to want me to be in his life?

After giving much reflection I honestly think that he is truly gay. I think this is why he keeps going back and forth with his answers and in everything he prefers guys over girls when it comes to living with him. He keeps many secrets and that is what seems to be a large part of his life. I think that when it comes to doing stuff with girls whether one-on-one or the threesomes that he does it because he is really gay and by doing stuff with the girl he takes that revenge out of the girl that he is gay and therefore this makes him feel that he isn't totally gay and that when he does do stuff with the girl in a threesome him and the guy involved are making her feel really low and this is where I think his gayness comes out but he feels that by doing something with a girl in the situation it is how he copes. Do you think this has any merit?

And when he said that he wouldn't accept a friend request from someone he doesn't know, I am glad my friend did it because it shows again that he lies because he doesn't know my friend whatsoever and it must have been because he was good looking that he did. I have been with him when he was reviewing friend requests before and he wouldn't accept unless he knew them. This proves that he lied and that my friends looks must have played a major part. Particularly when he mentioned the city and school that he attended, but just mentioned someone else name and then said I am meeting new people. He was obviously thinking about my friend.

Please give me your input and I am coming to terms with the fact that I need to make changes and that he isn't honest with me. I think one thing that is definitive is that one day he is going to come to a pressure point or breaking point and that he will have to make a decision as to what he is going to be because lets say he likes the threesomes him, a girl, and another guy that say if he was able to have something like that eventually it would come to an end because it would be a temporary thing as one of the people involved would get tired of it and I think that he is expecting unrealistic fantasies until he wakes up and realizes who and what he really is.

I have pretty much given what I have to offer. I will give you two examples from the lives of my life partner and I. If you are not getting this then.............there is nothing more I can say.

We have a small bathroom. From the shower to the towel rack it about four feet. If he comes into the bathroom while I am in the shower, he moves my towel two feet and leaves it on the sink counter. There is no efficiency here, he is making a statement that he cares about me. I do the same for him.

Second, we have matching Lazy-Boys in front of the big screen TV. If one of us gets up we say "Anything from the kitch?" Anyone with a Lazy-Boy knows once you are 'lauched' you do not like to get up.

These are two of the many ways we communicate to each other that we love each other. If you are not sharing these kind of moments everyday - someone is too selfish or you have a bad match. If you want to beat yourself up that's your business.

Go join a GLBT hiking club or something and meet someone on your level. Otherwise, there is always another cock at the end of the bar.

[confused17]

I have taken what you guys have had to say and if a relationship isn't a two-way street where both genuinely care for each other than that doesn't make it a good relationship and that I need to end things.

I do need some opinions on something though. I met with him earlier today and when I talked with him he told me that the reason why he mentioned about the one dude being naked was because he knows that I have talked about him and that I think that he is a hot looking guy. So pretty much the vibe that I am getting is that it was pretty much his way of saying "Ha Ha I saw so and so naked and you didn't" basically like it is rubbing it into my face. The thing is that he says that it didn't mean anything but just because I'm gay why would he feel compelled to do so if this guy being naked didn't mean anything to him, let alone why would he mention it to his other friend?

Next, we went to get something to eat and when we sat down he pulled out his phone and showed me this one guy that sent him a friend request. Remember prior that I had mentioned that my one friend sent him a friend request to see if he would accept that he didn't even know and he did which he told me that he would never accept a friend request from someone that he never knew which proved to be a lie.

Anyhow he shows me this one dude and his profile is completely private and he said that I will have to accept it so that I can get more info. He accepts it and starts looking through his pics and showing me them and then reads his intro and all. He says to me that this is what I don't like about these social networking things is that people that don't know you can send you a friend request and he said it is like why would they send you a friend request if they don't know you.

Now he gets done showing me this dudes profile and says that there was another guy that sent me a friend request but I think that I deleted it. He goes through all of these various people and that lands on to my friend that sent him a friend request for us to test him. He says I don't even know this guy and so forth and mentions that I should just delete them since I don't know them at all. So I thought that he had deleted them and when I went to go check on it guess what these two guys are still on as his friends and it was like he was trying to make it seem like he deleted them and he didn't.

This is my second question, if he isn't interested in guys and isn't gay as he says he is or bi then why would he say I think I deleted this one dude and then he never did, and let alone this other guy he also still has him as a friend? This is what I have dealt with in this whole situation it is like he says that he is going to delete these guys because he doesn't know them and that that is what he doesn't like about the social networking things, but yet he keeps them as friends -- so there is so much contradiction and this is what I don't understand and want to get your opinions on.

I really appreciate all your help and I do know why he did mention that guy being nude and showed me these friend requests was to rub it in my face, but my being gay shouldn't have any barring on him feeling compelled to mention this guy as being nude, nor should it make him mention these friend requests as I think that it is because he is interested in them but tries to make it look like it is all me because I am gay and that to me is disrespectful. What are your thoughts and I am ending this -- but I need to get your guys take on all of this. Please help me to make sense of all of it. Thank you.