Why are you so gay?

[ToddYoung]

Why are you gay? Is it genetic, or is it because of how you were brought up? There's this whole thing with gay guys and their mothers (yeah, me too) and I sometimes wonder if it isn't just that, that my mother never let me go and I kept identifying with her instead of my father.

I saw a documentary a few years ago called Homosexuality in the Animal Kingdom, and it went through all these animals that engage in homosexual acts - elephants, stags, bonobos, dolphins, baboons and more.

Then there's this thing about the amygdala, a part of the brain that's supposed to be bigger in gay men.

So is it genetic or is it environment? What do you think?

[interesting]

I think I will always be in the camp of it's genetic, mainly because I think the environment influences our behaviors and ways we deal with situations, and how our views are, but not to the extent where it exerts an influence on our hormones and biochemical structures of how our body responses to certain visuals.

With the whole parent thing, I am also close to my mother, but there are many situations where the gay child grow up without a mother. Alternatively, I was just never close with my father, granted, he's not close with my sisters either, and they're not gay.

[AirBorn]

I think it is the way we are chemically made up. In other words, we are "born that way".

[AirBorn]

I think I will always be in the camp of it's genetic, mainly because I think the environment influences our behaviors and ways we deal with situations, and how our views are, but not to the extent where it exerts an influence on our hormones and biochemical structures of how our body responses to certain visuals.

Agreed......

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I have been half following the research that is making a link between fertile women and homosexual male offspring. It suggests that what happens in the womb is what results in our sexuality.

While there are few known cases where life situations have driven people to homosexuality. I suspect that it is predominately determined in the womb.

I think how we express our 'gayness' is predominately a matter of environment.

[fredv3b]

In my mind the crucial observation is that the identical twin brothers of gay men are much more likely to be gay themselves than non-identical twin brothers. But they are not certain to be gay, it's about 50:50.

Non-identical twin brothers shared the same womb, home and upbringing. The only difference between non-identical twins and identical twins is genetic. On the other hand it can't all be genetic as all identical twin brothers would share the same orientation. The other factor(s) must also be subtle to allow twin brothers who shared the same womb, home and upbringing to turn out differently.

I should also note the causes of female homosexuality might well be different to those of male homosexuality.


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[BellyNel]

I honestly don't know why I am gay. But for me, I suspect that it's because I didn't have that much male interaction and male friendships growing up. I think I've been gay ever since elementary school, the early '90s.

I have a lot of female friends since I went to high school and college for fashion design and the apparel industry, and till this day, I am more comfortable around girls than guys. In addition, since I haven't had a lot of interaction with guys, I am really intimidated around guys who are taller, better looking, smarter, and fitter than me - heck I'm easily intimidated period.

So a question is, how do I make friends with guys? Got any icebreaker tips?

[dfiant]

I'm from the school of 'born this way' and my evidence has always been my personal experience and hind sight.

I think back to when I was 7-8 years old and there was a certain boy in our group that I would watch and I loved his legs and would always wish he was my brother because he had nice legs. That feeling was so strong that I can still remember thinking it and the feelings that I had 35 years ago as an 8 year old.

Now to put it in perspective it was the mid 1970's, homosexuality didn't exist theoretically and sex education came in teen years and was limited to videos of rabbits and lions copulating.

So without any sex education and being in a time when homosexuality didn't exist...theoretically...why was I attracted to not just this boy (I had similar feelings with other boys, this was just the strongest i remember), but boys in general. Why was I wishing certain boys would fall down so I could see up their shorts, why did I as a 10 year old drop my pen/pencil on the ground so I could cop a look up the boys shorts sitting behind me.

It certainly wasn't a taught or learned behaviour, to me it was an instinct, a natural attraction, I was born that way.

That is why I get seriously pissed off with terms like 'sexual preference', 'Lifestyle choice' and anything that I feel invalidates me as a person by suggesting that being gay is of my choosing when I know with all my heart and experience I was born homosexual.

[fenris]

Honestly I´m not interested why I´m gay.... and I don´t spend time to thinking about it, it is a fact and it is Ok for me .... OK in a way that I don´t want to be straight.

[ToddYoung]

. . . I get seriously pissed off with terms like 'sexual preference', 'Lifestyle choice' and anything that I feel invalidates me as a person by suggesting that being gay is of my choosing when I know with all my heart and experience I was born homosexual.

Have to agree with you here. I think "sexual preference" and "lifestyle choice" are terms invented by the majority - bisexuals. When people used to ask me how I knew I was gay the question made no sense. Now I see it as a question coming from a bisexual standpoint, where a guy is worried that he might be gay because he has some feeling for men. He says, "But how did you know you were gay?"