Why are you so gay?

[PMme]

Never thought about it thaaat much suprisingly

[Natecott]

Was my post dropped? #sighs

[Pokinho]

Just like many of you, I had homosexual feelings as a child, and eventually even had "sex" with my older brother. Genetics seem to play a role, I can't deny that in face of all the scientific evidence. Still, wouldn't say that genetics is the only factor. I have this belief that every person is born bisexual and, deep down, never ceases to be, even while we have our behaviours biased to one gender or the other. This inclination is, I think, caused by both nature and nurture, which is still a quite vague explanation. To explain why someone is gay or straight is just like to try to explain why one prefers yellow over blue, or vice-versa: very difficult, but not very important. What's important, then?
Someone said that this is not about knowing why we are gay, but trying to find somehow an approval (and worrying about disapproval) to our conditions, translating natural facts into human interpretation. A question caused by insecurity, in other words. Interesting point. If you think of all the possible interpretations we could give to both answers (nature or nurture), you could say, for example, that if homosexuality is caused by genetics, that means we are all aberrations. Note that I'm not saying we are; I'm just pointing a possible point of view, just to say that both explanations can be seen as "bad" or "good". Actually, they're neither, though.

[hamsandwizh]

Why am I gay? I don't know that. I do know that I strongly believe I have always gay. I had, I believe, a normal boy life, I did sports like soccer, baseball, basketball while growing up and in high school did cross country and track. I had more guy friends then girls while growing up too, was never really into "girl" toys and didn't have any.

I first realized I was gay in 7th grade but right after that I knew I didn't want to be and fought it for YEARS which led to depression, anixety, etc. that really took a huge effect on my life up to this point. But I finally accepted it and experimented with it when I lived in Phoenix, AZ. (orginally from San Diego, CA where the majority of my family lives and all my friends). Once I moved back to San Diego after about 2 years in Phoenix I went right back into the closet and denying to myself I was gay and trying to date women, etc. I didn't intend to do that it just kind of happened, it's what I was use to doing when i was around family and friends.

That led to the depression and all that getting a lot worse, like, horrible, because I was finally allowing myself to be who I truely was while I lived in Phoenix and I loved it and loved myself, then I moved back, went to old habits and denial and things got a lot worse. Once I finally accepted it myself, again, and figured it is who I am and if I don't accept it and be myself then my life is going to be horrible, so if I lose any friends/family over it, then so be it.

So I orginally came out to my twin brother, who was my roommate at the time first, he didn't seem too surprised as I figured he wouldn't be. We'd go out drinking a lot and I tended to check out guys, make a few remarks here and there when drunk, lol. So I believe he told my parents before I told them, if he did, that's fine. I eventually told my parents, they said they didn't care if I was gay or not they just wanted me to be happy. So that was cool. I don't recall ever telling any of my friends (my memory from that period is pretty bad, it was a rough time so I've blocked a lot of it out) but I still have the same friends and see them once and a while at parties, etc. and they don't treat me any differently, if they catch me checking out a guy or talking about a date I had recently or anything like that sometimes they give me weird, like, surprised looks, but it's still fairly new to them, being around the gay me, lol, not the hiding, trying to be straight me. It's also like that with my parents as well and that's fine, it's a process, they're use to me acting one way and when I am acting another, like talking or checking out guys they aren't use to it, doesn't mean they are against it, they just have to get use to it, it'll take time and that's fine.

So if I had a choice in the matter I would of been straight for sure! And I never would of had to go through all that! So that's how I know it's not a choice and must be genetic. In my opinion. Of course I love myself for who I am and I am much happier being in the open and not having to lie or change my comments, watch what I say, etc.

[countyboy]

I def feel its something wired differntly in the brain. I am sure I was born this way

[Macedonian]

Well, I felt in love with a girl since I was 8 years old. I was jelarous when there is someone around her but in that age I didn't know it's called gay. When I was 9 on the news there was debate schoud gay marriages be legal in our country or not. And I asked my mom what is gay and she told me it is when two girls or two boys are atracted to each other. I asked is it normal behavior and she said it isn't normal and gays go to doctor to cure themselves.

Since I heard it i thought that I'm bisexual or something and it's just a period. But while I was groving up I was looking at girls and I couldn't stand the boys (they werent physically neither emotionally atracted to me) so yes, I believe that I am born that way.

[mc888]

I think it is sometimes born that way and sometimes environment. I watched one of my best friends come out of the closet in middle school. He said I just am not attracted to girls. I noticed the dad never paid attention to his mother, and neither did he, so it always made me wonder.

And yes some animals start out gay to practice and then in adulthood find a female. And a tribe in Africa did or does that too.

[cmj1985]

well i believe i was born this way

[ManicReptile21]

Why are you gay? Is it genetic, or is it because of how you were brought up? There's this whole thing with gay guys and their mothers (yeah, me too) and I sometimes wonder if it isn't just that, that my mother never let me go and I kept identifying with her instead of my father.

I saw a documentary a few years ago called Homosexuality in the Animal Kingdom, and it went through all these animals that engage in homosexual acts - elephants, stags, bonobos, dolphins, baboons and more.

Then there's this thing about the amygdala, a part of the brain that's supposed to be bigger in gay men.

So is it genetic or is it environment? What do you think?

Im not attached to my mother at all, in fact i have disliked her for years. I am glad she had no influence over me, or i'd be a really screwed up dude lol. Honestly there was nothing ever set in place to make me gay. I was simply born this way. Never had attraction to women. at all. but then other guys would make my mind wander to very----INTERESTING---places lol

[EricOntario]

I honestly believe that there is a combination of biological and social factors that contribute to the formation of sexual orientation. That said, like anything else with humans I think the degree to which nature/nurture aspects affect each person differs depending on the individual. I also believe that it is absolutely impossible to change sexual orientation once it has been established. It may be possible for a person t develop some level of attraction to the opposite or same sex later in life, but they will never lose the attraction that they already have.

That's only my personal opinion, based mostly on my own experiences and observations... but that's what I think.