Though this would be easy

[dlboy53]

I'm not sure if its the holidays or if its just me,but I think its more me. today has been a read emotional day for me. I though that by excepting who and what I am that things would be easier in life. But instead it has made me a basket case. All i can think of is that I have this dirty little secrete that I'm hiding from people that I have grown to love because the treat me like I'm part of their family and I don't want to lose that, but at the same time I feel like I'm lying to them when the see that I'm sad and lonely.

Just to help clarify things, this group of people have strong religious beliefs and follow the bible well so they don't believe that being gay is right but a sin in Gods eyes and not to mention once in a while hear the topic come up in different conversations and all not good either.

So today I went to the LGBT center but was greeted with disappointment because on one was there. So I headed out to my church because we where having Thanksgiving dinner as a church tonight, which was awesome, Then we started give thanks and praises and I gave mine, but while I was looking in the eyes of everyone I started to cry knowing that if they only knew what I was really hiding that I would lose the last group of friend/ family and would truly be alone in this world.

I spent most of my life denying that I was gay and was hopping that it was just a phase, but it had to grow stronger and stronger every time I surprised it. now after almost 40 years I decided to give in to the feeling and except them, and sense then I have been nothing but sad and alone with no one to talk to or hold me in their arms and tell that it alright. It does help to write this down but it does not take away the sting. I am so tired of this feeling of being alone and know one really to talk to. I'm not sure if I'm looking for help or advise, all I know is that I'm even more confused now and at a breaking point.

[Kiid]

I wana give you a hug

I can't imagine what you are going through. But I imagine you are confuse as to what to do? I know people who have been in extremely religious families and have come out. They are now out and proud but unfortunately they don't have much to do with their family now (Due to their family being a bit of a cult) If I were in your situation I would probably be very unsure if I should or shouldn't come out. But as soon as you start to realize it isn't a phase that you are going through it becomes so much harder to hide it.

My advice is find a someone in your family that you can talk to about being gay. And start there but do take it slowly. Coming out too fast can just leave you a bit dumbstruck and even more confuse.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

That Bible they use has been badly mistranslated, has also been edited slightly and is missing a few verses here and there.

Then the way that they steal verses out of context to make it say what they want....

Take Leviticus: "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination." (Leviticus 18:22)

This is taken out of context. That whole chapter is focused on the Moloch worshipers. What those 'pagans' were doing was ritual sex and temple prostitution. The condemnation is not against homosexuals, it is against using sex for idolatry.

Myth-translations:

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor [I]homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (NIV).[/I]

Compare the various translations here: http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/6-9.htm

The truth is no one knows what Paul (the author) was saying. In the Greek that he wrote in, he made up compound words attempting to express ideas that the Greeks had no words for. malakoi (Male prostitute/Effeminate) and arsenokoitai (contemporary homosexual).

Yet when we find Malakoi elsewhere in the bible it is translated in Matthew 11:8 and Luke 7:25 as "soft" (KJV) or as "fine" (NIV). In the early Christian church, the words were interpreted by some as referring to persons who are pliable, easily influenced, without courage or stability.... nothing to do with 'The gay'

"Arsenokoitai" is made up of two parts: "arsen" means "man"; "koitai" means "beds." Sounds like gay - but its not. The Greeks had a handy word that would have made it clear Paul was discussing homosexuals paiderasste.

The Septuagint hints at "male temple prostitutes" Ah... this goes back to Leviticus and the worshipers of Moloch....

Every since one of those verses pulled out of the bible to beat gays over the head have been twisted and turned into something that was not meant.

Read the story of Naomi and Ruth... Tell me its not two lesbians in love.

Read the story of David and Johnathan.... Two men in love, and David moved on to become God's right hand man in the form of King.

Jesus and the Centurion - the slave (pais) was actually the Centurion's lover. We can figure that out once we study the culture of Rome and how Centurions and their pais formed relationships. If this was merely a slave, the Centurion definitely would not have risks his position dealing with a Jewish Magician - such acts for the Roman's were grounds to be dismissed from the military.

Ask a modern minister what these things mean and he will pull out Doctrine. Doctrine is man's interpretation that has the Church's Stamp of Approval.

I did the seminary thing, they all but come out and tell you its a con game, then they tell you how to play the game.

There are others out there who know the truth.

You want to worship God and Christ in a church? Fine, start here: http://www.gaychristian.net/

Those people will be tolerant and will more or less carry the spirit of the Word - at least when it comes to the homosexual question.

[dlboy53]

I wana give you a hug

I can't imagine what you are going through. But I imagine you are confuse as to what to do? I know people who have been in extremely religious families and have come out. They are now out and proud but unfortunately they don't have much to do with their family now (Due to their family being a bit of a cult) If I were in your situation I would probably be very unsure if I should or shouldn't come out. But as soon as you start to realize it isn't a phase that you are going through it becomes so much harder to hide it.

My advice is find a someone in your family that you can talk to about being gay. And start there but do take it slowly. Coming out too fast can just leave you a bit dumbstruck and even more confuse.

I wish there was someone, but there isn't anyone out side this group i can talk too.

[pellaz]

I'm not sure if its the holidays or if its just me

sorry its not you and IT IS THE HOLIDAYS.

All i can think of is that I have this dirty little secrete that I'm hiding from people

-being gay is not dirty.
-we all have secrets and the truth is always an individual convolution.

Just to help clarify things, this group of people have strong religious beliefs and follow the bible well so they don't believe that being gay is right but a sin in Gods eyes and not to mention

-there are options for gays with belief. seek out a gay christian ministry near by to where you live. In Denver its dignityusa.org
from what you are saying its time to move on in your religion department.

... now after almost 40 years I decided to give in t ...I have been nothing but sad and alone ... I am so tired of this feeling of being alone and know one really to talk to. I'm not sure if I'm looking for help or advise, all I know is that I'm even more confused now and at a breaking point.

you sound kind and aware. i am sure you will meet quite a few people but you need to give it some time. A friendship is started by a random act of kindness and communication. It has to happen inside two people simultaneously. Not a likely event since both people have to say YES. We are living in such a wonderful time. Never before could the one world have been expressed as only 6degrees of separation. And a NYTimes article, see this link, expresses even lower number! You will meet smart people, straight people and horrible corrupt clowns but they all will have something in common; you will meet the people they know too. So ever so important to say YES to another excess.
I tend to be goofy but serious I went through the some of the same things. Hang in there through the holidays, distract yourself with things that are lasting and positive. Your not as alone as i was.

[Kiid]

I wish there was someone, but there isn't anyone out side this group i can talk too.

Well keep talking to us! You will get there some where you are happy in life and you will have lots of happy people around you.

[wakeboarder]

if you ever need someone to talk to, me and airborn are both in boise and willing to go out for a cup of coffee just about whenever.

[AirBorn]

if you ever need someone to talk to, me and airborn are both in boise and willing to go out for a cup of coffee just about whenever.

Yep, we are here if you need anyone to talk with in person.

[dlboy53]

thank just might take you up on that

[AirBorn]

thank just might take you up on that

What are your plans for Thanksgiving and this weekend ahead?