I got a problem

[spotysocks]

Met this this guy a year ago , we had a fling then met him again 4 months ago and we thought we should start dating. You can expect some problems as he is often away for weeks traveling for work, and the occasional jealousy from both sides but it has been ok or at least i manage to have control over my jealousy and his.
I feel that he is easily distracted when we are together talking or anything else. Asked him before if there is something wrong, if something worries him. He says is the work, the jet lag and sex is great. Can understand the jet lag but he has a couple of days before we meet to get over it and can understand worrying about work I have a very demanding job too. But if sex is great you at least enjoy it when u having it, if not say it so we to resolve it. Is clarity too much to ask for?
A little sample of how things are. Last night we were together doing our thing after he has been away for 12 days. Then his phone rings answers and talks for a good 20 mins to a friend and thats how our night ended . I am pissed me off not because of the sex we didn't have or him talking to his friend. But because when u don't see someone for days and calls every day very enthusiastically you don't expect to get this when u see him. Made me feel i don't know how...My sex drive is too high, i am shit, i am crap in bed, crap to be with dunno what is it.

Told him today at lunch time that this is not going to work and as much i love him the best thing is to walk out of this relationship. He said he was expecting it , he is sorry and try to make it work but i left. He will find a way to twist it around and do the same.
Sounds stupid but i am really confused now. Don't know what to make of this situation, it's something new. Perhaps he is ok and i have an attitude problem. Not sure if i did the right thing or i over reacted either way i am feeling sad. I have feelings for him. Would you do something differently?
Any opinions will be appreciated.mile:

[Udabar]

Well, Sounds like to me that in his mind you two were still having a fling. Just something that wasn't going to last long, but fill his shoes till he found something else. I personally would have reacted worst, but I tend to get a little more pissy then your normal Gay... Well in a case like that who wouldn't? I mean you haven't seen your man for 12 day and then you finally get to see him... Hell if that was me you came home to after 12 days. I would have had dinner cooked, gave you a massage and then given you some wild ass sex. :biggrin: But thats just me...
But yeah, I would have been pissed off at him for talking on the phone for 20 mins when I have been gone for 12 days. I prolly would have broken up with him that night. And if sex is the only thing holding the relationship together then its not worth being in. I mean hell, if thats all that was good about it then might as well have not dated and just called him everytime you got back for a quick fuck... Get your and get out.
Well I hope something in all the rambling will help you ease the pain. We all love you here :biggrin: :biggrin:

[jamesteen]

well mate there are plenti of fish (an i know we dont do fish we gay LOL) out in the gay sea so if the guy your wiv can't give you enough attention best call it a day and look for someone who can!! as udibar say if it all about sex then it more like a fuck buddy and not a relatonship. at the end of the day its yor decision but that just my pennies worth!!

[spotysocks]

Thanks to both of you :-) and yeah i think you are right ... we were just having a fling. I believe he just liked the idea of having someone but didn't know how, we could as well be the 'fuck buddies'. However when we start dating more even that was almost gone!...

So i didnt over reacted did i? You know i had my doubts and second thoughts, that i shouldn't be pissed off and i had high expectations but as Udabar say dinner-massage-ass sex isnt too much to expect is it?! hehee

One week after this happen i am more sure i did the right thing and feeling much better. I didnt shout or make a scene and too much drama ect , just turned the other side and next day tell him we stop there - i was OK. Before we break up (or whatever!) we were planning to go paintballing with mates; should i still invite him and shoot him at the nuts and his stupid bum though?

[Udabar]

Lol.. Actually... Inviting him to do something entertaining with you is prolly not a bad idea. That way yuo can let him see the better side of you. Let him see what he missed out on and what he wont be able to get. :tongue: Hit him where it hurts... (His ego, not his nuts.. although that would hurt :biggrin Then after that sets in, you can pull a Dick Chainee, Oops.. All these people out here and your balls got in the way.

[mikey]

Gday matey,

In response to "I got a problem", a similar thing happened to me, but I was on the other side of it... Ie. him... In reflection at the time I was genuinely excited to have him as a point of call, someone who I know was there regardless of how busy I was or what was happening in my life at the time - it was really nice to know that I wasn't ALONE - when ever I wanted to or when ever I was in a situation where I was around other couples, I could call MY GUY who was always there to answer the call... Yeah I was in love with the idea of being in a relationship, but it wasnt really the right guy, as when we saw each other... the spark wasnt there... but it was nice all the same, even when we fought... Because it's been few and far between... It seemed easier to just pretend that everything was all good and low and behold... id be away again, and back to the idea of how nice it is to have the idea of a boyfriend, and someone to call... But yeah... we were both alone... really...

x mikey

[spotysocks]

Mikey that's quite similar indeed. Hope it's now sorted out ok for you.
I kind of understand how he is feeling... He liked the idea to get more serious but as soon as we did the spark was gone and he didnt try or help me keep things going.
Did he invite you to paintballing and did you go by the way? hehe

I send him an email with all the details for the paintballing, he didnt reply yet and i dont think he will. I guess just does not want to give me the pleasure to shoot his nuts Udabar! Anyway its cool.. I ll forget about him, time to move on.

[spotysocks]

Ok ...so to my surprise he replied to my email today . He apologized for not doing so sooner he wasn't at his best and very busy with his new project. He said cant come paintballing (which actually was las sunday...) but asked to invite him the next time i go as he would love to be amongst my friends. Right! Ah and he is going to Dubai for one F****** month!!!!! LOL
I am out of words really.

At least we ll try to be friends

[Udabar]

Well you can make a big deal out of him being busy. Sometimes it happens and we have no clue its going to happen. I'm guilty for that. But he did apologize for all that. At least he didn't drag it on and not tell you why he didn't get back with you. Maybe he does want to be more, well hell, he said he wanted to be amongst your friends.... Either he wants to get to know your friends and use them to find something else or He really does want to get to know your friends.

If he's going to Dubai for a month then thats some time away from him and you can either think things over some more or find someone else. :biggrin: Don't be mad he's going to Dubai for a month, you should be relieved.

Being friends can either be good or bad... All I have to say on that note is good luck.