Might be gay and I'm really scared

[oldster]

i guess you could have a life of with no sex and perhaps no love
but i have a feeeling that might be possiabl in your case if i under stand the urges andd feeling are starting to work there way thrue your mind.
you actuly belive you can live your entire life by your self with out companionship and faceing the world with out the comfort of a mate
one can do that many have but it is not the worse thing in the world
to be gay yes it usto cut one off from many things but today it is much better accepted not to say you actuly have to be outbut try to be true to your own self and is ambition and what ever enough for you thats great
but as formy seeelf i cant imaging a life without love that would not be liveing but existing thrue life. sorry i am not that ambitious i dont need aclame or wealth and power if i can make one otherpersons live a little happyer and open their hart to love then i truely have accomplished something in this world My idea is that we are here only once and we might as well get it right the first time This is not a practice run for the game of life

[matty7]

i dont think its a fear of been gay - i believe its the reaction of others that we fear of us been gay...

[Tommy81]

i dont think its a fear of been gay - i believe its the reaction of others that we fear of us been gay...

This is what my partner feared when we first met. Amazing guy. Beautiful. Identified as bisexual. Totally in the closet with everyone but his closest friend. He was terrified of what his family and mates would think if he came out as bi, let alone gay, and let alone introducing me as his boyfriend.

I can't pretend it wasn't difficult. But we worked on it. It took 2 months before he even came-out to me as having "known I was gay all my life". Other introductions, and the integration of our lives, slowly followed.

The most impressive point is that in the end, NOBODY CARED! His brother, whom he was most concerned about telling, said that he was glad my fella had found someone to love, and didn't care that I am a bloke. Everyone elses reaction was the same. No friends lost. No parental dismay. No dramas at all.

My fella now tells me that without me remaining steadfastly by his side, and supporting him and not putting any pressure on him, he would still be in the closet and living a lie. I suggest you might want to go out there and find a bloke and see if you have the same epiphany. Results aren't guaranteed, of course, but you're obviously a bit miserable about the situation, so go for it! Make the change. You may never look back. Happiness is worth it.

[afga]

so what did u do MATT ? im just like u btw..

[icanuc]

Ok well if you feel you will live your life alone you are denying yourself being loved by another. This is the greatest gift we are given. Sorry Matt I feel you need to put yourself out there and what ever happens happens. Don't deny or deprive yourself. Love is truly amazing!

[StevenL]

Sorry to say this but you will change your mind lol... not that i don't take your words seriously but I had been there. You will be sick and tired of being lonely so you will decide to move on. It's just soon or later. At first you will be scared but then one day you will realize who would give a shit about what you like and what you want? It's all up to you. You make yourself happy no-one else can. Good luck.

[pellaz]

just that I never wanted that life for me. My plan would be to never act on my feelings and live my life alone

-a gay relationship is the same as any relationship. Yes differences; but you accept the loving supportive thing and its the same. even better.
-be alone but you will find yourself to stray way-from your dreams. My years went by and holy $hit "this is not me".

i can assume your lazzy not afraid?

[zeon]

hello,
Coming out and accepting your possible sexuality is a scary and daunting thing... Alot of people worry about acceptance however in todays society the education is more or less there via the internet... Alot of people of course still beleive aids is a gay disease however it doesnt only affect us its affected hetrosexual people as well. I think you may find that if you was to reveal your sexuality especially being 26 you would find that people would be more accepting and the term its a phase is crap..

I know when i came out as gay i did my homework as well and learnt that being gay isnt a choice.. We dont wake up and go oh look im gay today and bi tomorrow.. If you fdight your emotions you make yourself unhappy. The reasearch i did revealed that homosexual people are caused during your time in the mothers womb as a embryo.. What happens is whilst the baby being you is being formed and developed the mother places the required amount of genes X Y into you to set you on the path for life. On occassions the mother imputs too much of one which over balances the other and this causes the baby to swing the other way later on in life.

l also questioned once being naive if this was then my mothers fault im this way in a open forum to which i was told No it isnt a mothers fault.. It is natures way of sort of controlling population... If we were all hetrosexual we would end up with a over populated world more than double the population of today however if we were all homosexual we would be wiped out within 100 years. The gay lifestyle doesnt only affect us as people it also affects animals except animals tend to accept things more between themselves because the walks of life are different... For starters animals dont have the society factors which we have... If you take dogs for example a male dog infact most male dogs are bi sexual and dont actually care whether they shag a male or female.. They follow pack ruiling and instinct which brings in the acceptance... Almost like a large family in one house... Someone will be the head of the house as a ruler and the others will obey...

Dont worry abut being gay if you are then learn to accept it and love being it life is too short to worry about it

Kindest regards

zeon x

[Kiid]

If you are going to come out you might as well be happy about who you are. There is no reason anyone should hate themselves. Ok I'm sure there are times in most homos lives that we wish we could try being 'normal' and not be gay. Probz before most of us comeout. Like me I wished so hard no to be gay. I was frightened and I did not want to be such an 'abomination', but I just couldn't stay in the closet cos it wasn't who I am. Yes I think my sexuality dose define a part of me, only a part. And now that I'm out I'm happiest I'v ever been.

[jbrowder24]

Coming out can be scary and take time. I've given this advice before but it's been a while... you might benefit from renting some gay movies (avoid Hollywood stuff with a flaming best friend, and go for a romance like 'Shelter' or 'The Trip' or 'Trick'), reading some gay books/magazines, etc. Perhaps you're scared doing this will confirm it... nope, it's just exploring. Only you can decide. But if you are, it might make you feel like, 'wow, there actually are a lot of gay people out there just like me... I'm not so different after all." I know it really helped me to know that I was not alone, and that being gay didn't mean being a stereotype.