Can't finish....And I dont know why

[dan21]

I'm 20 and recently just started fooling around. Previously I was a virgin to both sexes until about 3 days ago. About 3 weeks ago I started hanging out with a very cute guy He was my first kiss, my first blow job (giving and receiving), and 3 nights ago He bottomed for me and topped for me.

When we kiss I get into. I mean I get hard and enjoy it, when I give him a blow job I'm into...But when he gives me a blow job it feels good but I can't finish. I think he is starting to feel bad because I don't get off.

I'm not sure if its nerves or because it takes me a long time to finish myself when I"m alone. Does anyone else have or ever had this problem?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Up until this point the only way you got off with with the hand. Masturbation is not like sex in any other way.

1. Our grip is tighter than any human orifice.
2. The hand can be pumped faster than our hips, or our head...

You have, most likely, desensitized your penis and now need to adjust to lighter, slowly movements.

The fact that you do get a hard-on tells me that there is nothing medically wrong with you - you do function down yonder. You are also mentally into it.

You may also be placing too much pressure on yourself to 'get off' quickly. The longer it takes the more anxious you get, the less likely you are to get off.

The up side to this is you do not have premature ejaculation, which carries with it its own stressors. The downside is you are going to have to learn how to relax and let him know that it requires a bit more attention for you to get off. A lot of guys do like the idea that the play goes on longer, so it could be a plus with him.

Have him masturbate you for a spell... so his mouth doesn't get too tired.

[posterpicture]

I have never been able to get off by a blow job. Many of my friends can't either. And believe me, we are not inexperienced.
Some people just can't get off by getting blow job. ( that doesn't mean they would always be like that, time change, situation change and the guys who give head change as well. ). I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It is acceptable that you finish the job by your own hand. It wouldn't be a turn off if you do it the right away, ( like I am sure many guys would enjoy you shoot into their face as much as you shoot into their mouth lol ).

And Bowyn Aerrow is right. Don't pressure yourself. Don't fight it, enjoy it instead.

[East]

I'm 20 and recently just started fooling around. Previously I was a virgin to both sexes until about 3 days ago. About 3 weeks ago I started hanging out with a very cute guy He was my first kiss, my first blow job (giving and receiving), and 3 nights ago He bottomed for me and topped for me.

When we kiss I get into. I mean I get hard and enjoy it, when I give him a blow job I'm into...But when he gives me a blow job it feels good but I can't finish. I think he is starting to feel bad because I don't get off.

I'm not sure if its nerves or because it takes me a long time to finish myself when I"m alone. Does anyone else have or ever had this problem?

I have never had an orgasm as the result of getting a blow job and I have no idea why except that I just dont' care for oral sex... giving or receiving....never have. I have had alot of sex and sex partners and have been around the block more times than I care to count and this has never changed. I don't know if yours will be a similar experience or not but I can tell you from my experience that I don't feel as though I have a problem...just a preference. .

[dan21]

Thanks everyone who has posted. Bowyn as for your post when I masturbate not to go into to much detail but I don't grip hard and I go pretty fast. I am very appreciative of everyone's posts this does help me feel better about the situation.
I have recently stopped masturbating to see if that help's.

[blokeinsussex]

Hands up all the guys in this thread who cannot get off from another guy sucking them or giving them a handjob, and are cut.

Betting theres a strong correlation here.

I'm a moderator on a social network dedicated to intactivism and foreskin restoration and I've lost count of the number of guys who register and remark that they cannot get off when their partner orally or manually stimulates them.

There are things you can do to remedy this such as keeping your glans covered when not in use as nature intended, or starting to restore. Feel free to ask any questions.

[Kyle]

I'm 20 and recently just started fooling around. Previously I was a virgin to both sexes until about 3 days ago. About 3 weeks ago I started hanging out with a very cute guy He was my first kiss, my first blow job (giving and receiving), and 3 nights ago He bottomed for me and topped for me.

When we kiss I get into. I mean I get hard and enjoy it, when I give him a blow job I'm into...But when he gives me a blow job it feels good but I can't finish. I think he is starting to feel bad because I don't get off.

I'm not sure if its nerves or because it takes me a long time to finish myself when I"m alone. Does anyone else have or ever had this problem?

I haven't but my last boyfriend had exactly the same problem. I was his first guy and first blow job (receiving and giving) and he found himself in the same situation as you are. He was into it and he enjoyed giving it to me but receiving not that much. He couldn't get off for first two tries. He would masturbate later but he wasn't hard so he used to say "next time." I guess it was third time when I really tried to excite him, kissed his neck and ears and he eventually got off.
I think this whole situation happened to him because he was stressed, he was trying too hard to get off. Nob being able to get off for first time or being nervous is very normal if you ask me because when you are doing it, in the beginning when you are inexperienced you can't concentrate and enjoy fully, you always have side thoughts, how to stand, where to put your hands, you don't have to be like a statue so you think how to move etc and that distracts you.

You may also be placing too much pressure on yourself to 'get off' quickly. The longer it takes the more anxious you get, the less likely you are to get off.

I very much agree with this what Bowyn Aerrow has said. First I asked my boyfriend that I really wanted him too to get off but he couldn't and was anxious, I understood that wasn't a right way so next time I just tried to help him more and that worked.

I'm a moderator on a social network dedicated to intactivism and foreskin restoration and I've lost count of the number of guys who register and remark that they cannot get off when their partner orally or manually stimulates them.

That's interesting. I'm uncut and I can get off by oral stimulation. I always end up having anal sex too but if I let my partner give me a blow job and take me to orgasm, oral sex is much more pleasure for me.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hands up all the guys in this thread who cannot get off from another guy sucking them or giving them a handjob, and are cut.

Betting theres a strong correlation here.

I'm a moderator on a social network dedicated to intactivism and foreskin restoration and I've lost count of the number of guys who register and remark that they cannot get off when their partner orally or manually stimulates them.

There are things you can do to remedy this such as keeping your glans covered when not in use as nature intended, or starting to restore. Feel free to ask any questions.

As a victim of the mid 20th Century health = no foreskin ideology I have no trouble getting off when my partner stimulates me. It takes about 15-20 minutes, longer if he takes his time.

However he knows how to push my buttons and does that thing with his hands on my testicles that can get me off in a few minutes - 2-5...

[Drew]

I'm uncut and still have problems sometimes with sexual partners. But I think it has more to do with nerves and not being used to the guy the first time. That's why I no longer hook-up or do quickies with guys I barely know. It's the reason I'd really like a partner; I can be comfortable, relax, and enjoy it and not feel rushed or pressured.

[dan21]

Thanks again everyone, I'd to say the situation has gotten better but it hasn't I've fooled around three times now and the results have been the same Its really getting to me now. I'm starting to think im gonna screw up this relationship and I don't want to do that.