12-07-2011, 08:46 AM
I must say no, I have never felt unwanted.
I have never be driven to fit what others expect of me, I have never expected anyone to change their ways to be more attractive to me because I see it as acting. You take people as they are other wise you are not accepting the person as they are and for who they are.
I have been in both situations, where I have had people that have wanted to change me, realising that I didn't respect them trying to change me, they moved on. I was also in a relationship where in time it became apparent that we were incompatible. He beggged and pleaded and promised he would change any way that I wanted him to. I politely told him that if he had to change himself that much then that would make us less compatible and for him to be truely happy he should make this relationship a learning experience and he will end up with someone that he won't have to change anything for. That was 12 years ago, he has thanked me many times over for the advice and he has been in a very happy relationship for 9 years now.
Now, back to you...What you are going through is not normal because feeling so lost in a relationship is wrong, you should be happy and your partner should be equally as happy. What is happening to you is bullying by the sounds of it and you shouldn't be put in a position by someone that loves you where you have to choose between what is essentially YOU or what your partner expects you to be.
Do not be cruel...an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind...be true to yourself and remove yourself from situation that make you unhappy...that means I think it would be best if you left your relationship, say nothing, do nothing...just walk (Or as mum says RUN) and don't look back.
If you feel you need help, there is absolutely no shame in asking for help and seeking counselling.
Be proud of who you are, be strong and ALWAYS stay true to yourself.
I have never be driven to fit what others expect of me, I have never expected anyone to change their ways to be more attractive to me because I see it as acting. You take people as they are other wise you are not accepting the person as they are and for who they are.
I have been in both situations, where I have had people that have wanted to change me, realising that I didn't respect them trying to change me, they moved on. I was also in a relationship where in time it became apparent that we were incompatible. He beggged and pleaded and promised he would change any way that I wanted him to. I politely told him that if he had to change himself that much then that would make us less compatible and for him to be truely happy he should make this relationship a learning experience and he will end up with someone that he won't have to change anything for. That was 12 years ago, he has thanked me many times over for the advice and he has been in a very happy relationship for 9 years now.
Now, back to you...What you are going through is not normal because feeling so lost in a relationship is wrong, you should be happy and your partner should be equally as happy. What is happening to you is bullying by the sounds of it and you shouldn't be put in a position by someone that loves you where you have to choose between what is essentially YOU or what your partner expects you to be.
Do not be cruel...an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind...be true to yourself and remove yourself from situation that make you unhappy...that means I think it would be best if you left your relationship, say nothing, do nothing...just walk (Or as mum says RUN) and don't look back.
If you feel you need help, there is absolutely no shame in asking for help and seeking counselling.
Be proud of who you are, be strong and ALWAYS stay true to yourself.
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