Eating advice...

[hamsandwizh]

I know, sounds weird right? Well I have not had anything to eat since Monday morning. I have not felt hungry at all either until tonight and I tried to eat but I got physically sick and mentally disgusted with myself and couldn't do it.

Now I won't get into details but I've had issues in the past where if I felt I didn't have any control over my life, which I currently don't really have any (long story) then I limit what I eat, etc. It's a total control thing, to make me feel better that I have control over something. Well Monday afternoon I got a bad phone call from my therapist, I saw her tonight and things really didn't go much better, not her fault, family issues. Anyways, that feeling of lack of control over my own life is back and naturally the eating issues are back.

But this one is different than past ones as I just can't eat, at all! Usually I would eat, just not much, but it's worse now as I can't even eat. So I need advice on what to do. I know it's not healthy but I need to do something before someone throws me in the hospital or whatever.

And no I didn't tell my therapist about it tonight, I would of if it were a 1 on 1 session but some of my family was there so I didn't get a chance to and I was not about to bring it up with my family around, gives them another reason to think I am not doing well and therefore cannot make decisions for myself.

So any advice? That'd be great, I know it's a tough one to break, but I gotta try something, tea alone isn't going to do it for me.

[dfiant]

get a one on one session with your therapist, thats the obvious answer and I suspect you already know that.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Eating disorders are complicated, as you very well know.

Identifying every reason why one has an eating disorder is not easy, and even we have identified each and every reason, it is difficult for us to figure out what to do to get around the disorder.

I do not know the nature of the 'bad call'. If it is a point of grief (sadness) it may very well be an extension of grief, not 'needing something to control' that you are dealing with.

There is over the counter nutritional supplements you can drink, like Ensure http://ensure.com/

I do not know what aspect of eating disturbs you the most, if drinking a fluid doesn't bother you, then using a liquid food supplement may work well for you.

Mind it is a supplement, not a replacement. So you are going to have to deal with whatever issues you are going through and eat real food eventually. This may be more or less a way to physically buy you time so you can get in touch with the therapist and talk about it and get back on real food.

It will give you calories and a lot of the essential vitamins and minerals.

No tea won't cut it, nor will just bullion.

One reason why you may be physically reacting to food is because your stomach has been empty for so long. Dry toast, crackers, a (one) boiled egg out of it's shell (not hard boiled) until firm, perhaps with the yolk still runny, are good ways to put something on the stomach without over working the stomach after a long fast.

Jello is also 'good' for a weakened stomach.

Soups are also good, lots of broth with little bits of veg that have been boiled until you can crush them with your spoon.

Making a habit of eating a few bites every so often, not seeking to fill the gut may also help the physical aspect of it all.

[Ceruleaan]

I second that. Set up an appointment one-on-one with your therapist immediately. This sounds like the initial symptoms of an eating disorder... so please get some help before you find your attempt to take control takes control of you.

[hamsandwizh]

Thanks, I'll try some of those. My next 1 on 1 with her isn't until next Wednesday afternoon. So I got another week to go. So we'll see what happens, I'll try the stuff like ensure, etc. that might work as I've been only drinking water and tea and that doesn't bother me at all so we'll see how it goes. Maybe I can get myself to eat tomorrow, just not going to happen tonight

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Thanks, I'll try some of those. My next 1 on 1 with her isn't until next Wednesday afternoon. So I got another week to go. So we'll see what happens, I'll try the stuff like ensure, etc. that might work as I've been only drinking water and tea and that doesn't bother me at all so we'll see how it goes. Maybe I can get myself to eat tomorrow, just not going to happen tonight

Take baby steps.

You might also want to try Gatorade, it replaces salts that one can't get from water and tea.