So next year I'm going to college and I'm somewhat excited about it. However, I really don't know how the whole roommate situation is going to work out since I'm gay. Basically all want to know is how do i deal with the whole roommate situation.
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what ever the setup its imperative your room person knows your gay and can accept it.
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i hope your school will work with you on that.
it depends a lot on where your going...
Brigham Young University=oh shit!
UC Berkeley= you'll be fine
talk to an adviser if an issue arises. good luck!
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Well it depends what you plan to do in your room, and how out you are/want to be. If you're bringing guys back a lot and you have to kick your roommate out of your room, then he really has a right to know (don't do that, btw. Nobody likes "that guy" who sacrifices his roommates convenience and comfort to get laid). If you plan to play it safe, be the studious freshman, and not bring a lot of guys back to the room, then it's really up to you how much you tell them. Obviously deeply religious people are less likely to take it well than more open minded people, but that's not to say that all religious people will take it badly.
Remember that being roommates doesn't mean you guys have to be best friends. I almost never see or speak to my roommate. We share a kitchen and living area, but our personalities are very different, and while we are friendly and cordial to each other, we certainly aren't tight (which sucks because he's kinda cute and quite possible gay. Oh well  ) You just need to be able to live together. As long as he's not a clan member, and his parents don't go to a certain church in Topeka, chances are you guys will be able to at least coexist. Try not to stress about it too much, and let us know how it goes!
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pellaz Wrote:what ever the setup its imperative your room person knows your gay and can accept it.
Why is it imperative? What if the room mate doesn't accept it? Terrible advice I'm sorry to say.
I would just play it by ear, you are a human before you are homosexual so don't let this get in the way of your excitement. You are at college to learn first and foremost, yeah there may be moments where you get the chance to play, but do that discreetly.
The time will come when you will know your room mate well enough to make the decision then what to do. No reason to walk into a room woth a stranger and announce 'Hi, I Jack and I am gay' when all you need to say is 'Hi, I'm Jack, nice to meet you.'.
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musicman2229 Wrote:Well it depends what you plan to do in your room, and how out you are/want to be. If you're bringing guys back a lot and you have to kick your roommate out of your room, then he really has a right to know (don't do that, btw. Nobody likes "that guy" who sacrifices his roommates convenience and comfort to get laid). If you plan to play it safe, be the studious freshman, and not bring a lot of guys back to the room, then it's really up to you how much you tell them. Obviously deeply religious people are less likely to take it well than more open minded people, but that's not to say that all religious people will take it badly.
Remember that being roommates doesn't mean you guys have to be best friends. I almost never see or speak to my roommate. We share a kitchen and living area, but our personalities are very different, and while we are friendly and cordial to each other, we certainly aren't tight (which sucks because he's kinda cute and quite possible gay. Oh well ) You just need to be able to live together. As long as he's not a clan member, and his parents don't go to a certain church in Topeka, chances are you guys will be able to at least coexist. Try not to stress about it too much, and let us know how it goes!
This is good advice. Good manners and mutual respect between roommates is very important.
When I was in college each floor had a Resident Assistant (RA), I think they were called. They are students who sort of "manage" each floor. As soon as you get assigned a room/RA you might want to contact them and just put your cards on the table. Maybe they can help you make the transition by either finding a compatible roommate or giving some advice.
Good luck.
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the room mate will figure it out by himself
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dfiant Wrote:Why is it imperative? What if the room mate doesn't accept it? Terrible advice I'm sorry to say.
I would just play it by ear, you are a human before you are homosexual so don't let this get in the way of your excitement. You are at college to learn first and foremost, yeah there may be moments where you get the chance to play, but do that discreetly.
The time will come when you will know your room mate well enough to make the decision then what to do. No reason to walk into a room woth a stranger and announce 'Hi, I Jack and I am gay' when all you need to say is 'Hi, I'm Jack, nice to meet you.'. your room mate will figure it out himself so you will have to deal with the "What if the room mate doesn't accept it?" if there are any issues you should clear up the bad at the start. its not going to get any better by itself.
"Hi, I'm Jack, nice to meet you, i am gay, hope its not an issue for you, if it is we need to do something about it now"
musicman2229 Wrote:being roommates doesn't mean you guys have to be best friends. ... while we are friendly and cordial to each other, we certainly aren't tight ... You just need to be able to live together. in the long run all you have to do is coexist but i would never hide.
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Unless you've got GAY printed on your forehead and you put up a collection of nude male photos why would your room mate find out???????
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This is good advice...........
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