Dumped 2 Months Ago And Feeling Really Down Now

[Inchante]

I have to agree with what East said. It is likely a codependent relationship (my sister is fond of those). It is a self destructive behavior and, as East said, an addiction that is hard to escape.You need to make a commitment to yourself to move past it.

After reading this I removed my advice...the advice has been given before...TWICE...no use giving advice for the third time about the same relationship troubles for it to go ignored.

Seems you are both train wrecks and attention seekers and a perfect match for each other.

On the other hand, as far as what dfiant said, I hope you will ignore him and his lack of kindness and understanding. Some people don't get how hard it is to break away from such behaviors. BUT, you too must understand how difficult those behaviors are to break away from and give your full effort. If you do not, you will continue to put yourself in harms way.

Best of luck.

[RegularNiceGuy]

Yes that was me. And he came back in January and we gave it another go. To call me a trainwreck because I gave a guy that I had been with for 7 yrs (at that point) is a tad overboard. Im a pretty loyal person, and when I committed to him, I felt he deserved that second chance. And it didnt pan out.

I've been thinking about seeing a counselor or something. I just have some bad days were the depression is crushing. Ive always played sports, but I am now doing more in the gym instead of relying on just the outside sports to keep me in shape. And I do write a lot, and have set some goals for 2012. I even participated in a Polar Plunge event on Saturday, which Ive always wanted to do but never got around to it. So that was positive, though at the time it was kind of negative because I had nobody to share the experience with.

I'm sure theres someone out there, but Im not into gay bars or clubs. Well, clubs or bars in general. So who knows how I will find anybody. Internet seems to be an endless supply of men looking for sex, which is fine for guys who can handle that...but Ive never been a hookup guy.

At least I got through New Years without hearing from him. And just before we broke up he was seeing a counselor and as much as I find myself hoping for the absolute worst for him...to fall on his face... I guess truly I dont wish any ill will.

Love sucks.

[BabyPolarBear]

At lest you had a boyfrind :frown:

[RegularNiceGuy]

Sometimes I think not having a boyfriend would have been better. At least, not so long term.

Anyways, I thought I'd update you guys since its been awhile since Ive been on here. Trying to stay busy at work.

So my boyfriend and I shared a few texts and the joking around was still there. He tried to keep it light, very friendship like, but Im not looking to be his friend. After 8 years, to be dumped and go back to being a friend... unlikely.

So I apologized about not being able to go to Florida and he apologized for pushing the issue, considering I was going through bankruptcy and didnt have the time at work. However, he is not interested in getting back together. He says he loves me and I made him happy and he misses me a lot, especially during the down times. Misses coming home to me... but he thinks there might be something "better" out there. He is having a long distance relationship with a 43 year old man from Florida (My ex is 28) and he plans on doing some traveling with him throughout the year before he moves down there by the end of the year.

I am crushed. I thought we would get back together because the fight was so dumb. I made compromises to do more traveling and go out to the bar more often but he just wants to quit his job and pack up and move down south. I keep having really bad depression because we've been together a long time and he was a part of my family. He didnt have a good upbringing so his family is almost non existent. So his ties are deep here with me and mine.

He really tried to pressure me to be friends and wants to be able to go out to eat and be able to talk and catch up. I told him he just wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants us to be there for each other when we're having anxiety attacks, he wants to be able to go out to eat and movies, and he doesnt deny we could end up having sex again. So its like he still wants everything that comes with the relationship, except for the label, so he can still pursue this guy from Florida.

Makes me sick to my stomach to think hes gone for good. And I just want to yell at him and I want to facebook message this guy and send him a long nasty email telling him hes a jerk for getting involved with a guy who was already involved in a relationship and hes 15 years younger than you... ARGH!

[Gizzie]

I hope you feel better soon…
But if cutting him out of your life for a while and talking to a professional makes you feel better, you should do so. Keeping him in your life can just be like torturing yourself. If he has made it clear that he has no intentions of getting back together then you have the right to take all measures to feel better and move on!