This is my story...the first its been told!!!

[outthecloset]

I am 21 years old, and I am gay. Wow this feels weird because up until this point i've never even told a stranger. I live a pretty good life right now. Everyone thinks i'm straight, just looking for the right girl (is what my mom says). I have a lot of friends (all straight). I own half my dads business. I own my own house. Very close to my parents. I go out and have fun. But I am very lonely...only I know that because i choose to hide it. It sucks, I would love to come out to the world but i am just not ready. I just wish I was straight, have a wife and kids you know. I can only imagine what my parents will say. And
I have very nice things...all paid for by my business. And I am afraid that if i come out, my dad will disown me and then what will i do (financially that is). There is a lot more to it then this and sorry if my context is confusing, this is my first time talking about any of this. Please feel free to give any input and ask any questions. I wouldn't mind a gay cyber friend(s) lol

[sacredcake]

Hey!

Well I feel for you as I have to hide my sexual orientation 24/7. And it's not just my parents, also the country I live in. It's forbidden and illegal to be gay. I got used to it, but as you know sometimes you just feel that you wanna get it off your chest and spit it out loud.

I'm not the right person to tell you what to do, but just thought of posting to let you know you're not alone in this and there are many people out there with worse causes.

So, cheer up, do what you think is right for you until it's the right time to be who and what you are and you wanna be

And feel free to send me a message anytime

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hi, welcome to the board.

I say get out from under the parent(s) thumb.

You can live a lie, however that never really works. You will be far much more miserable with 'stuff' and in a lie than being without stuff and being open and honest.

[outthecloset]

Yes I know its miserable living a lie and i don't want to. But I keep putting it off. And to sacredcake, i can only imagine how you must feel living in a society where its not even allowed. What are your plans?

[DerJack]

You know, I don't know what the answer is per se, nor does anyone here, but there are many great people on here to support you. Seriously this community will stick by you and let you know that however you are is fine, because none of us really KNOW what we're doing in life, we're just TRYING our best. Try and start reading the other members posts and maybe posting some of your own threads... in no time you'll be struttin' around this forum like any of the rest of us, and you'll finally have a safe haven where you won't have to worry about people judging you or who you really are. Welcome and try to feel at home, I hope you enjoy and find yourself!

[sacredcake]

Yes I know its miserable living a lie and i don't want to. But I keep putting it off. And to sacredcake, i can only imagine how you must feel living in a society where its not even allowed. What are your plans?

I'm planning to leave the country, but in order to do that I have to serve for one year in the military, it's obligatory as I have a younger brother. I'll start in three weeks.

[YetAnother]

inthecloset, are you certain that them disowning you is going to be their reaction?
but trust me, i'm not trying to talk you out.
and i understand not wanting to lose that 'stuff'.
i'm no materialist, but being homeless is no fun either.
you could always keep it under wraps if you found the right guy,
wouldn't have to be so much living a lie as simply keeping it to yourself.
all that being said, are you sure they'd cut you out if they knew?

[outthecloset]

I'm planning to leave the country, but in order to do that I have to serve for one year in the military, it's obligatory as I have a younger brother. I'll start in three weeks.

Wow thats awesome that you are making an effort to change things for yourself. Kind of sucks that you will have to serve in the military unwillingly. I wish you the best in that.

[outthecloset]

inthecloset, are you certain that them disowning you is going to be their reaction?
but trust me, i'm not trying to talk you out.
and i understand not wanting to lose that 'stuff'.
i'm no materialist, but being homeless is no fun either.
you could always keep it under wraps if you found the right guy,
wouldn't have to be so much living a lie as simply keeping it to yourself.
all that being said, are you sure they'd cut you out if they knew?

Not entirely. I hate to admit this but i have to tell you this in order to prove my point. But a few years ago probly when I was about 15, I had a friend over. We have a pool at our house and a pool house. Well I was peeping through a small hole as my guy friend was changing. Very embarrassing but I was curious. Well about that, I found out about a week later that my dad saw me looking through his window. He asked if i was gay and obviously I replied no. He seemed very mad and confused. He let it go and we have never spoken of it since. My parents are very old fashioned and don't believe in being gay. That its against our christian religion and that we are all born straight and choose to be gay. Sorry to say that they are wrong. I enjoy hanging out with my friends and going out to a bar and checking out women. It's fun, but it is wrong for me to lead them on that I am straight. Idk I just don't know...

[YetAnother]

Idk I just don't know...

trust me i get it.
my advice would be to gently feel them out, before you try and come out.
i don't know your situation specifically, so i'm having trouble coming up with
good examples of how to do that at the moment. is there anyone else in your family that is out?
anyone that is out that your parents know personally?