This is my story...the first its been told!!!

[outthecloset]

No not really...I do remember a long time ago my dad had a gay friend. In fact one of his best friends. Don't really know what that was about but i know they don't keep in touch anymore. But I know everytime my dad sees a (obvious) gay guy on tv he makes an obnoxious comment about it. Talk about make me feel uncomfortable. But I suck it up.

[YetAnother]

a long time ago my dad had a gay friend. In fact one of his best friends. Don't really know what that was about but i know they don't keep in touch anymore. But I know everytime my dad sees a (obvious) gay guy on tv he makes an obnoxious comment about it.

i hate to hear that. it's not a good sign. he may have cut out this friend because he was gay. would you dare to ask him about the guy now, or would that just lead to an argument of some kind? it might be a good way to feel him out without directly bringing up gayness.
also, when he busted you scoping your friend, was he really bad about the idea of you being into dudes? was it true anger, or maybe just disappointment or what? it took him a week to confront you about it you say? are you sure it was just him that saw you and that he didn't hear it secondhand?

[outthecloset]

No he told me it was him who saw me. I guess he wasn't really mad, more dissappointed as you said. Idk the conversation is kind of a blur because it was very unexpected and awkward. I should have just said yet and been done with it. It's just I think I put it off to long and i feel i have worked hard to get what i have and i feel i will be throwing it all away. and about his gay friend, idk about that. That thought has crossed my mind. I might try bringing him up, but i have a feeling he will change subject quick.

[outthecloset]

thanks for talking to me...feels good to vent. My laptop is about to die and i'm about to fall asleep. I will get back on tomorrow. Hope to talk some more. thanks again

[YetAnother]

no sense thinking about what you could have done. chances are he would have not taken you seriously at that age anyway. now that your 21 it may be different, especially given the backstory. but that's neither here nor there yet...
I'd say bring up the old friend. try not to let him change the subject, maybe get a couple beers in him first so he's more chatty. get him in a good mood. that may give you a better idea of where to take it next. maybe coming to the defense of the next gay guy on tv he badmouths? gently ease into it. use your gut judgements. things like this are a good idea to do, it can make all the difference between being disowned and grudgingly accepted -or perhaps not telling them at all for now, depending how he handles the prodding.

[SleepTalker]

i think it may be a good idea to bring up your dads friend. like yetanother said it may be a good way to get a feel of the situation. Maybe it was just disappointment when he saw you looking into your friends room. You will find the right time to tell your family. Sooner or later you will realize that you deserve to be yourself and to be truly happy. Good luck.

[HollandofFrance]

your story sort of reminds me of the movie "brother sun sister moon"about st Francis of Assisi

one of my favorite movies

if i were you id stay in closet and make as much money as i could until maybe age 35 but who knows

good luck

[Almac]

My heart goes out to you, you certainly have a difficult decision to make and it's yours to make an no one else's.

[YetAnother]

whats the worst that could happen

the worst that could happen is he could lose his family and everything he's worked towards
and that may not be necessary as long as he handles it the right way! your not even paying attention!
worst-case scenario is a lot worse than your envisioning! you should take more time to consider
circumstances before advising people to blow the closet doors off the hinges!

[Lonely]

the worst that could happen is he could lose his family and everything he's worked towards
and that may not be necessary as long as he handles it the right way! your not even paying attention!
worst-case scenario is a lot worse than your envisioning! you should take more time to consider
circumstances before advising people to blow the closet doors off the hinges!

im sorry i didnt think of it that way.. i just wanted him to be happy with who he really are... i really didnt mean to sound inconsiderate... maybe i just couldnt express myself the way i intended to be :'(