Tricky Situation

[Foxy]

I can't remember how long ago my initial thread on my situation with my mum was but this is the most recent 'progress' of it.

This would relate to anyone else who has gone through the process of coming out to difficult parents. I am talking in this particular case about mothers. My mum has been so difficult about it and she refuses to meet my girlfriend Kate at all. If I talk about my sexuality in any way, shape or form, even just a mere suggestion she changes the subject and her overall response to it has been to turn away and ignore it. It even got to the point where she was trying to arrange a date with a boy for me, without my knowing. Please help, what should I do? How should I approach talking to her? I am currently walking on eggshells and have not mentioned or suggested it to her in any way. But it's getting more and more difficult for me because my girlfriend and I are engaged. I want to be happy, and I am, but I feel a part of me is being held back by my mum's complete stubborness if I can call it that. It's a tricky situation which I could do with some help on. :confused:

Any advice?

[Foxy]

PS. I didn't go on the arranged date by the way!

[musicman2229]

If you really want to talk to your mom about it, and she is really trying to avoid talking about it, then you obviously have to set up a situation in which it would be too awkward to simply change the subject. I came out to my mom by taking her for a drive. My reasoning was that if I was the one driving, I was the one in control. If things got too uncomfortable for my mom, she couldn't crash the car or drop me off on the side of the road and drive away. Also, if the car is going 50 miles per hour, she was less likely to jump out and run away. I'm not promising that your mom wont resist hearing the news, but this way at least you can be in control of the situation, and force her to confront it. The conversation doesn't stop until the car stops. Just an idea. Also, bear in mind that if you get her to open up a little on the subject, that's your cue to not speak. A perfect way to pick a fight is to try to correct your mom while she's getting her worries off her chest. Let her speak her mind in its entirety, address her concerns only when she has finished, and field any questions she has. That method will give you a fighting chance for continued peace. Good luck!

[princealbertofb]

Good advice musicman, and a decent approach to things that really need some airing....

[apugh91]

I'm in the same sort of boat. My mom will politely ask about my girlfriend, but I know from overhearing conversations with her friends that she doesn't want to hear "jacks***" about her or about us, and she tried to set me up with a guy at Christmas when I went home from across the country. it sucks

[pellaz]

welcome to gayspeak by the way

... from overhearing conversations with her friends that she doesn't want to hear "jacks***" about her or about us, and she tried to set me up with a guy at Christmas ...

dont get me wrong i would not take the parents side, in fact quite the opposite but:

you have been dealing with your sexuality all of your life but you expect your mother to be up to speed immediately. You might consider giving her some reading material for her self improvement and or take her to a LBGT center meeting. I think there are a few youtube videos that might work. sit down with her, you and your significant other watch and discuss.

[apugh91]

Oh, I know I'll never be able to change her mind is the thing. Lots of people never will. Just want some acceptance.

[zeon]

user has deleted account so not worth responding just getting a post