oh boy.. done it again..

[East]

The whole notion of good looking/ugly has escaped me...I feel like I am on another planet with the whole topic...and I worked in a gay bar where this was the #1 topic it seemed and yet I had no opinion on the matter usually except sometimes I thought someone was really sexy but it was about the way they moved or their personality in conjunction with their appearance...never on appearance alone.

What really trips me out is when someone describes themselves as GL or VGL...how do they know????:biggrin: In a million years I would never describe myself as good looking...I would be too embarrassed. When someone else would say I am good looking as I was a bartender and had to deal with that alot I got extremely uncomfortable. I think people think it is a compliment...I think it is a nightmare. I felt objectified.

Over the years people would learn not to bring that up to me...discussing someone's looks....I refused to join in and I have never once in my life thought...much less say... anyone was ugly just from their looks alone.

.....which leads me to my point and you may want to adopt this or a version of it...or not:biggrin: ...just offering my opinion...

After much thought I realized that if I like you...you look great to me...if I dislike you you look ugly to me...and if I dont' know you it is like looking into a field of cows...all look the same basically. I used to tell people that all the time so I could get out of the tacky conversations criticising people's appearances without making enemies.

The other thing...people that constantly comment on other people being ugly risk exposing how ugly they are on the inside. I always felt embarrassed for them. TRUE beauty comes from the inside...period.

[MidgetGem]

Thanks all for replying to this.. maybe bizarre topic to some but I needed some form of advice, opinions and what not, to put things in.. some kind of perspective I guess, I'm really quite the sensitive person when it comes down to things and struggle to take things on the chin and instead take them to heart hence why I posted this thread, and I appreciate greatly all the advice, mix of opinions a like.

Perhaps I am too quick to judge a book by its cover and is something I should work on and avoid doing though we all have done it at some point.. I hate to make excuses, but I can't stress enough that we were swapping opinions on guys/girls, alot of whom were famous in some way or another and we would never have the chance to "meet and greet before you judge them" kind of thing, it only turned serious when he displayed a friend of his and didn't say anything about him being a friend.

My response to seeing the photo for those wondering was - "Sorry dude, But he aint my type he's too skinny, has alot of piercings and just isn't very attractive"

I agree with you East, I don't judge people I meet day-to-day at all, this whole chat was based upon random guys/girls we'd more than likely never meet etc.

[AirBorn]

I think it was fine that you were honest. And yea, think of it this way atleast he knows your not attracted to him mate so there can be no worries there.

[KJ1989]

From what you actually said to him, I'm again less inclined to say this was a big deal. I wouldn't have classed you rude, you said "he's not my type". From how things went on and how he had reacted I thought you might have said the guy was "fugly" or something.

You were polite, given the topic of discussion, where both of you were offering your opinions :-)

[East]

Perhaps I am too quick to judge a book by its cover and is something I should work on and avoid doing though we all have done it at some point..

You will be doing yourself a great favor if you are able to overcome this kind of thinking....it will make you alot more attractive as well as a person and it will be easier to respect yourself and respecting yourself is a worthy goal.

Another thing...try putting yourself in someone elses shoes. Imagine you were being judged by a group of people and they were deciding if you were ugly or not. Of course it is a subjective opinion and it really would have nothing to do with you...but would it hurt your feelings?

[MidgetGem]

Perhaps I am too quick to judge a book by its cover and is something I should work on and avoid doing though we all have done it at some point..

You will be doing yourself a great favor if you are able to overcome this kind of thinking....it will make you alot more attractive as well as a person and it will be easier to respect yourself and respecting yourself is a worthy goal.

Another thing...try putting yourself in someone elses shoes. Imagine you were being judged by a group of people and they were deciding if you were ugly or not. Of course it is a subjective opinion and it really would have nothing to do with you...but would it hurt your feelings?

Well, in answer to the last part there, that's what I do tend to do already but instead of thinking about it hurting my feelings or getting to me, I put up a defensive barrier and end up judging them instead, though.. only online, not face-to-face if that makes any remote sense :confused:

[7Chakras]

penis.....