Advice on coming out - very religious family.

[ducks123]

Hi every body my name is alex i am 16 years old and i been having such a hard time lately trying to find enough courage to come out to my family that i am gay . Well they are very conservative and i think if i come out that they wont talk to me any more i am also dealing with bullying at school and it is getting to a point were i had enough so i would like as much as advice as possible so i can figure out how to say to my family that i am gay with out having an emotional break down

[Thibideau]

This topic reminded me of this episode of Grey's anatomy(Yeah yeah yeah mock me all you want :p) I suck at embedding so I'll just post the link.

[HollandofFrance]

My parents are very conservative in their Christian beliefs and believe that homosexuality is a sin. I've known that I'm gay since I was 8 years old but my parents are both very anti-gay and quick to remind me that there isn't any heaven for people who commit "sins" such as homosexuality. In their minds homosexuality is a choice and a grave sin as it goes "against creation". (Now I'm not trying to spark a religious debate here, I just wanted to give some background. That's how my parents feel and I've met people who agree and disagree with their view. I'm not creating this thread to be told how "bigoted" or how "correct" they are in their views!)

I've had a string of straight relationships, but I've never felt any deep connection with a woman. In September I started a new job and moved away from the North of the country (I live in the UK, and moved from Yorkshire to the Birmingham area). Being away from the same area as my folks and trying to make a new life for myself has been hard, but I've enjoyed the opportunity as I've spent a lot of my time reading about homosexuality, what it means to be gay and how this relates with the church (I do still hold Christian beliefs).

I'm finally starting to accept myself as a gay man and a Christian (something I didn't think possible a year ago). I came out to my best friend and it was a terrifying experience. I'm now working my way up to telling my parents and my friends up North and I'm completely terrified because I'm well aware that my parents are either going to struggle to accept me, or refuse to try. So I thought I'd throw the question to the forum! When you came out, or when someone you knew came out - how was the experience for you? How did other people react? Did everything go terribly wrong? Also if there are any parents out there: how would you feel about your child being gay?

I'm just going to reiterate here that I am not looking to cause conflict with this thread and I apologise if you've found any of this post offensive. It isn't supposed to be. I'm just looking for some help and guidance with this and thought I'd put it to the community.

Thanks for reading.

im in usa-parents the same type i guess- religious

im christian too

i dont know what you should do ,probably stay in closet

every parent reacts different usually in two main attitudes?

its probably best to have one child then be gay later

there ought to be some lesbian group who would agree to this but it sounds like prostitution

play it by ear i guess

[HollandofFrance]

if it became a fad where lesbians did that i wonder if the ultra conservatives would balk and say "youre trying to create a race of gay people"

[HollandofFrance]

im over 50 and i feel im sorta warped by my families words and stuff but we still talk to each other sorta

like a call a few times a year

a visit once every ten years

stuff on facebook

and yet i had pretty good parents and a fairly good life in a lot of ways but still im screwed up

i stayed angry too long -what a waste

[HollandofFrance]

Hi every body my name is alex i am 16 years old and i been having such a hard time lately trying to find enough courage to come out to my family that i am gay . Well they are very conservative and i think if i come out that they wont talk to me any more i am also dealing with bullying at school and it is getting to a point were i had enough so i would like as much as advice as possible so i can figure out how to say to my family that i am gay with out having an emotional break down

for now just talk to this forum

they dont need to know

if parents dont like it or appreciate it then why the hell tell them?

sad but true

[HollandofFrance]

Hi there,

We are making an extremely sensitive, intimate 1-hour documentary for C5 about homophobia in society, and the challenges that gay people face coming out. We have a high profile celebrity presenting it and sharing some of the great conflicts he has faced through his own sexuality, and the effects it has had on those around him.

He is also wanting to speak to and support people who are thinking about coming out in a very gentle, affirmative way. We see this as a collaboration between all involved, which we hope will make a positive contribution to tackling homophobia in society.

All calls to us will be treated in the strictest confidence. Nothing will go any further, without their consent. If anyone is interested in taking it further and meeting him we can then explain what would be involved in filming. I would love to talk to you about what you are going through - even if it remains annoymous - please get in contact email sophie.waldron at dragonfly.tv I look forward to hearing from you. Many thanks Sophie

a post thrown in here ?

why not start a new one?

[Nick9]

Hi every body my name is alex i am 16 years old and i been having such a hard time lately trying to find enough courage to come out to my family that i am gay . Well they are very conservative and i think if i come out that they wont talk to me any more i am also dealing with bullying at school and it is getting to a point were i had enough so i would like as much as advice as possible so i can figure out how to say to my family that i am gay with out having an emotional break down

I wonder how ducks is. He never came back, did he? It is sad when a victim of bullying doesn't know if his/her parents will give them support.
Unfortunately, I don't know how to make things better for him *sigh*