Ruin you wish!!

[Miles]

Granted, but none of the rides work and you're never allowed to leave.

I wish this semester could just be over with.

[partisan]

Granted though subsequently you fail everything, the cyborg who took your place while you were in suspended animation, had the limited brain capacity of a chipmunk

I wish i didn't have a hole in my trousers

[monk]

Granted - now you can't put them on.

I wish chocolate had no fat and no calories.

[mmenace39]

Granted- But your night sessions demand more calories

I wish i had a well trimmed body and a bubble butt..!

[partisan]

Granted but everywhere you go people squeeze your bubble butt

I wish i had a big house on a hill

[elad12]

Granted but the house is not level and everything slides to the downward walls

I wish I could eat all the ice cream I want and not put on any weight

[Lalo]

Granted- Now every time that you eat ice cream it causes an immediate (and uncontrolled) evacuation of your bowel.

I wish that that little bitch, Paris Hilton, hadn't stolen my life!

[Beau]

Granted. She stole the President Obama's life instead. All hail president Hilton!

I wish I had more space for my stuff.

[elad12]

Granted, there is now plenty of space for your stuff but there is no space left for Beau

I wish I could figure out how to retire comfortably

[partisan]

Have an "accident" at work with a "puddle" try and land on your head, develop a "twitch"
Should get nice payout

I wish i didn't eat that whole pizza to myself