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Ruin you wish!!
Granted - though you, fall down in, the shower,turning the, cold tap on, the, way, down, where, you, lay, in, a, heap - just today ",

I, wish, i was, a, steamtrain
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Granted, decommissioned and on a scarp yard.

I wish I didn't have the flu.
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Granted, you have scabies instead

I wish Spades won't give me scabies
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Granted. I'LL give you scabies.

I wish I didn't have any scabies to give.
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Granted you have mumps instead.

I wish the rain would stay away for the day.
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Granted - the fog moves in.

I wish I had the same amount of energy as my dog.
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Granted your now a labradoodle (Labrador/poodle)

I wish Ed miliband won't be the future prime minister
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Granted - David Cameron is now granted an unlimited term and is PM forever!

I wish I hadn't had that Pinnacle gin last night - nastiest stuff I've had in a while.
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Granted- you had drain cleaner/vodka mix instead

I wish piss heads weren't shouting in the street
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Granted .... they are shouting in your house instead.

I wish Sunday morning were less hectic.
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