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Ruin you wish!!
Granted. You now have a lifetime supply of kale and tofu.

Sometimes, on lonely nights, I really wish I had a boyfriend I could call.
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Granted, and since you saw fit to stuff my icebox with soy products, I suppose you want me to be nice about who your boyfriend is... well think again, this old elf has a mean streak and a half.... Your BF is Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church.

I wish revenge tasted a bit sweeter...
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That would be theoretically interesting. I'm sure I would have a few things to say to Fred on the phone. So that would make my lonely nights a little more interesting.

Yes, granted, but now everyone you're living in a society where everyone is getting addicted to revenge, and the nation is killing itself with violence.

I wish I could think of better ways to ruin wishes.
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Yeah me too....

Wait, I mean Granted - you are so successful at revenge wishes that you become a international celebrity, you end up getting millions of dollars, but sadly you get addicted to sleeping pills and alcohol and discover the joys of erotic asphyxiation, you combine all three one day, evening really and lets just say you are now remembered not so much for your great body of work, but for the fact that you died with latex rope tied just a wee bit to snugly around the neck, whilst nude, whilst... well you know....

I wish I could say more and write less.....
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That's a little hardcore. I like it.

Granted. You can now use two sentences to say what it takes most people 4 pages to say. But now you have to get a new career, which means going back to school, and the teachers require you to write 7-8 page papers, and so when you turn in four sentences, you get so much shit from your teachers that you eventually get discouraged and drop out.

I wish I could become best friends with Meryl Streep.
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Me too.....

Wait Granted, but you got to share her with me....

I wish I didn't throw that phone number away earlier... I think that may have been a mistake on my part now that I have thought about it all night long....
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Granted but it turns out not to of been a mistake and your worst fears come true..

I wish i had the eye of the tiger
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One eye of dead tiger coming right up... Mind its still fresh... but not for long.

I wish I could remember where I put my stapler....
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You remember, but then lose what you needed to staple.


I wish I was psychic
[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]  <<< It's mine!
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time would come being psychic would be illegal so...you'll go to jail

i wish i would be more energetic at work
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