Desperately need ya'lls advice!

[ardus]

I think the previous replies are a lot wiser than I can be, I just wanted to tell you about what I know about emotional trauma.

The last time I deployed to Afghanistan I lost one of my soldiers, he was one of my Team Leaders and I loved him like I love my brothers. He was shot in a firefight in a town called Palau, and he was MEDEVAC'd and we didn't know if he was going to make it for the next 2 days. Those 2 days were probably the hardest days of my life. I didn't sleep, I could barely eat, I couldn't do anything, I couldn't function, I was so devastated. When we finally got the word that he had died in the hospital in Germany, i cried for a couple of hours, then I fell asleep, emotionally and physically exhausted. The next day we went out on patrol, and we started to plan for his memorial. I don't think I really understood how much he meant to me until I wrote what I said at his memorial, but when I did, and I got it right, and it said what I wanted it to say, I started on the road to recovery. At his memorial I gave my speech and I cried and I hugged my brothers, and we moved on.

I guess what I am trying to say, is emotional trauma is devastating, but it passes, and you move on.
Richard

[Yosuke]

Thank you, Richard. That is very kind. I am sorry you had to deal with that sort of loss; death is always hard but death by unexpected or violent means is even worse in my experience.

The good news in this whole discussion: I finally had a frank talk with Richard and laid down the law. As it turns out there were quite a few things going on that I didnt know about and the situation was very complicated. Richard felt bad about lying to me and has actually in the past few days become physically sick out of guilt and continues to ask me if I'm sure I am alright. We talked for the better part of four hours and came to an understanding.

In short, he has one more chance. I can see that he is truly sorry about lying to me, and has promised to come to me first next time something like this happens. Essentially, the entire situation involved more than just he and this "G" guy, it was what I call a clusterf*ck.

I am healing now. I have finally managed to pull emotions out of myself. I'm working on painting and other creative endevours, not to mention working on school work. So...I think I'm going to pull out of this alright. I'm just glad humans are so resilient.