Seriosuly what's wrong with me?

[Alwaysconfused]

Besides the fact that I am a little bit paranoid, I'm really a great guy! I'm cute, smart, sweet, etc and I do not get all clingy and attached. If you read whats in quotations below you'll get a better understanding of what I'm talking about.

It has been about 3 weeks since I saw him. I know when your busy you cannot always text back right away, but he always used to do that. But now He can't even respond to hey how is it going? or can't even say hello, I don't text him again if he doesn't respond. I guess He really is trying to tell me something or can he really be that busy because no can be that busy and drop off the planet. I know When I was a senior in college which was one of the most stressful, busiest times of my life, but yet I could still respond to texts, answer phone calls, eat, drink, etc. But yet he has time to update facebook?

A part of me wants to just say fuck you, i'm done with this and move on (which I normally am not like that) and the other part of me doesn't wanna leave him, every thought is about him, the way he smiles and laughs and everything about him I love. Right now I can't see myself with anyone else. I just do not understand why he is being like this. I texted him and followed my friends advice and said hey I know you have a lot going on right now but I just want you to know that I am here for you and I hope everything turns out ok. I just do not understand what is going on!? I just want answers and he's not giving them to me. It's not hard to answer a text, it takes like 2 seconds to say hi. If you have time to update facebook, u have time to text me back.

"So his mother is in the hospital as of thursday I think. SO ever since then, we have not spoken much. He told me that he has to go back to his parents house to take of his dad and back to his job which is roughly about an hr. Now when he is normally busy he texts me within a few hrs and such, but ever since his mom being in the hospital, he has been a bit distant."

"I do not know if he is trying to tell me to get lost and move on or that IDK."

"I want him to know that he doesn't need to be doing this to me, that I know he is going through a lot and being stresses and overly work since he is retail. But I tried but he never responds to my text. I do not want to just move on, I feel so happy and free when I'm around him. I just wan tot to know why he is being distant. IDK how I am ever going to know if he doesn't talk to me. I don't understand why he can't just talk. Like I understand he is going through some things but that doesn't mean to cut off ppl in ur life. It doesn't make sense. When his dad and best friend were in the hospotial he still texted me and spoke w/me. What makes this situation do diff? "

[LateBloomer]

You remind me of myself right now.

I'm very independent, but lately I've been feeling very clingy and needy. It's not like me and I don't like it.

It seems I simply have more free time, and more time alone, and more EMOTIONAL ENERGY than the guy I'd like to be closer to.

I have to force myself to back off and have the CONFIDENCE to know that when he wants to contact me it's because he wants to connect with me and he's not simply feeling OBLIGED to respond to my inquiries.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder (that includes not just geographic distance but psychological distance as well).

Give him a little breathing room during this stressful time. After things pass, he may reach out to you. No guarantees, but if he feels smothered he's likely to push away until he gets the space he needs.

Best,
LB.

[John]

I have the same problems too and it's been one year plus. I tried to work on it and at the end i just got nothing from him. He's even deactivated his facebook acc (without informing me)!So now i've decided not to do anything (no texting). I'm tired of waiting for his reply..I woke up every single night just hoping to get a msg from him (never happened)..

[pellaz]

Absolute blind panic

[steven88]

I hate it when you desperately want someone Who you really like to reply to your text but they don't. I get so worried about why they are talking to me and what have I done wrong. I have no advice for you but I will say this, you aren't alone. There's a lot of people this happens to. We get obsessed with it, it's not healthy.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You would hate dating me, I don't do text messaging - Ever. I have unanswered texts which my Partner has had to respond to.

"Oh the Niece needed a ride Thursday? Gee she could have called, I would have answered the phone... oh well...." Its not like these people don't know I don't do 'texting'.


I never rely on text messages when I want to know how a person is doing. I go to their home, knock on the door and talk face to face with them.

I grew up and dated in the era before texting, Facebook, internet. We had phones, but those were attached to the house wall. So we went to other people's places and talked to them. Face to face.

It was the dark ages, I mean you were out of contact with people for hours at a time - had to wait to go home after work to check your answering machine. Yes millions died in those days from isolation - it was horrible...... :tongue:

There is loads that a single look can convey that a million text messages can't.

He most likely is in a lot of pain - dealing with work, mom, dad and most likely doesn't know how to put it in a text message. Human face to face contact means we get to read body language, expressions, the eyes - we humans learned over millions of years to communicate volumes in these ways.

So instead of sending an impersonal 'how you doing' via text, why not swing by his place, his job and show him through actions that you care? Ask if you can help while you are standing there too, unless you can't or do not want to help.