Does one have to be campy

[Genersis]

Ahhh.
Muuuuch better.
:biggrin:

[Rawr]

Stereotypes are stupid.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

If you are not campy that means you are straight acting and as that implies it is an act.

Stop acting straight and be gay.

Ok this may seem really out there but the truth is there is a very large crowd who are bigoted to us 'straight acting' gays. No they don't scream 'Breeder!' when you walk into a room, but their attitude toward us is one of mistrust because we are 'other'.

I have been accused more than one in a gay place (bar, club, at the parade...) of being straight. And each time I could detect a negative intonation - sort of like what we hear from not so tolerant straight people when they accuse 'Are you gay?'

Personally, I see camp as an affectation. I know many here disagree with me and I have been called on this more than once. But I know from observation that campy affectation is the real act. It is by and large a ghettofication of the gay culture that teaches young gays to be nelly queens as if it is expected of them. I have seen plenty of 'jock-like' boys enter the scene turn into nelly queens by being surrounded by the so called 'culture'.

The first example in my life was by eldest brother who exploded out of the closet at age 16. One day he was high school jock (literally, played sports and all of that) the next he was suddenly wearing short shorts and calling everyone sister and lots of other 'campy' stuff. He adopted the roll, he wasn't born into it.

YES - definately a few are actually effeminate and are really campy. It is them - they were born into it. The rest of us - we are guys - gay or not, we are men, raised as men and we have our own identities.

The whole adopting of the 'culture' you are in is offense - it is offensive when nice girls become total bitches when they become a cheerleader. It is offensive when an educated black man talks 'ebonics' and acts like he never went to school, it is offense when a young man who has his own unique personality throws it away to be a nelly queen.

There is little to no tolerance in the GLBT community for 'outsiders'. We are worse than the homophobes because as a community we lie through are effing teeth that we are tolerant, accepting - but force our own 'roleplaying' agenda on the youth who enter.

Us country mice are more accepting and open to all forms of personality, while the majority of us country mice are "straight acting" it is not an act. We are men, we do not have a need to lisp, use fabulous and act gay.

City mice tend to go around in their tight little circles and exclude and through social and 'cultural' pressures force gays to fit into tight little holes - Leather Crowd, Nelly queens, Bears, etc. The city Mice tend to stratify quickly and force gays to pick a niche and stay in it. Tolerant, open, Accepting - don't kid yourself.

So if you feel like you are being pressured to camp it up, you most likely are. Those people are NOT your friends. Run away from them. Find people who are tolerant and are not expecting you to 'act' gay or straight but just act yourself.

[EricOntario]

straight acting men are lame come time for a relationship, i would hire one to work on my car tho.

This kind of attitude pisses me off. I hate gay guys who judge people for not acting gay enough. Honestly though, I think they're just a bit jealous and self-conscious so they take it out on others.

OP: No there's no rule that you have to be a flamer or act feminine at all. Just be yourself, be honest with yourself about what you're looking for in other people and ignore people who think they have some God-given right to judge you for it.

[OrphanPip]

If you are not campy that means you are straight acting and as that implies it is an act.

Hate to argue semantics, but if one "acts decisively" or "acts straight" it does not imply artifice in either example.

Also, I'm highly amused by this supposed oppression of the straight acting gays. We just have to look at any thread here about effeminacy to see the shit piled on anyone who is campy. In the year I've been here I've not seen one "straight acting men suck thread" but there have been a number from the other side.

In fact, lets bring it further and look at gay media, both fiction and pornography, and we'll see the consistent adulation of the "straight acting gay" in favour of the effeminate queen. Let's breakdown your post where you imply that campy men are not real men, that they're all acting (because if I'm not acting the other side must be! Those sneaky queeny bastards), set up false dichotomies of behaviour (because you have to either be camp or butch apparently), and then resort to some bizarre rural idealism. That's an awful lot of self-righteousness being deployed in an apparent criticism of the same kind of behaviour.

[Kiid]

I can act straight. But I'm also camp. But being me is most fun.

Just be yourself. I'v met lots of homos who I wouldn't think were gay. Like not even a tone of campness or even a touch of a queer walk. <--- things I usually look for to judge if gay or not.

I'v also met some rather camp heterosexual males. Not gay but at first sight you would think so o.O

[East]

There is little to no tolerance in the GLBT community for 'outsiders'. We are worse than the homophobes because as a community we lie through are effing teeth that we are tolerant, accepting - but force our own 'roleplaying' agenda on the youth who enter.

Us country mice are more accepting and open to all forms of personality, while the majority of us country mice are "straight acting" it is not an act. We are men, we do not have a need to lisp, use fabulous and act gay.

City mice tend to go around in their tight little circles and exclude and through social and 'cultural' pressures force gays to fit into tight little holes - Leather Crowd, Nelly queens, Bears, etc. The city Mice tend to stratify quickly and force gays to pick a niche and stay in it. Tolerant, open, Accepting - don't kid yourself.

.

Hmmmm.......alot of stereotyping .......If you are going to speak to intolerance it would be helpful not to practice it. Men who are effeminate for whatever reason are no less of a man than you or any one of your other country mice.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

The site is not letting me quote or multi-quote.

But if you read through the posts you do get the general impression that a 'straight acting' gay man is frowned upon by the majority of gays.

Is it stereotyping? Not if you are a so called 'straight acting' gay man who has been on the receiving end of the flamer's 'wrath' of 'straight acting gay men'.

Bitchy/Jaded Old Queen is part of the camp thing and they do it well. Often too well.

pellaz straight acting men are lame come time for a relationship, i would hire one to work on my car tho.

Maybe he was just funning us, but you know this 'joke' is not too off the mark, as most humor is.

dfiant The term itself 'Straight Acting' pisses me off no end. People keep telling me that I act straight and I tell them to shove their stereotypes up their arse. The way I am is no act and I refuse to be anything but myself.

Tags it on the head - If you are 'straight acting' (please to note the marks on either side) then it is inferred that you are acting straight. You are hiding, you are pretending to be straight. A majority of homosexuals in the city see it this way. Out here in the rural scene the majority see you as being a man - no act, just you being you.

The inference is, and always has been that if you walk like a man, talk like a man, refrain from camp, and 'gay phrases' you are acting - pretending to be straight.

Yes I have a Rural Idealism. That's why I live out here.

When I go to the one and only gay bar in the area (we had two, the Mustang closed due to lack of interest in the Cowboy look only crowd - it tried to specialized, that went over like a lead balloon) we see all kinds of gays mingling together.

Now go to the big City, you got to go to the leather bar to meet guys into S&M, the Bear Club to meet bears, the Black bar to to meet black men, the Preppy bar to meet twinks, the Elephant to meet older men... etc. etc. etc.

Seems to me the city gays are really working over time to separate everyone by label.

[East]

Bitchy/Jaded Old Queen is part of the camp thing and they do it well. Often too well.

...and this has nothing to do with gender/role bias...alot of the bitchiest and most jaded gay folks or "queens" are extremely masculine and openly display aggression and distaste for anyone who they deem less masculine than they are. As Orphan stated...you can find thread after thread of people who have a problem with effeminate gay men.....most often the people I hear using the term "straight acting" are those who are describing themselves. I have not noticed the straight acting man being frowned upon but I have noticed the campy men being frowned upon...alot.


As for people with similar interests/personalities hanging out it the same places...how is that any different from straight people? Bikers hand out with bikers...young college types hang out with other young college types..I can go on and on and on with examples. You have a definite bias about gay people who live in a city and I deal with gay men who live in a city all the time and you paint with a very broad brush.....

Seems to me the city gays are really working over time to separate everyone by label.

Seriously?

[pellaz]

... Us country mice are more accepting and open to all forms of personality, while the majority of us country mice are "straight acting" it is not an act. We are men, we do not have a need to lisp, use fabulous and act gay.

City mice tend to go around in their tight little circles and exclude and through social and 'cultural' pressures force gays to fit into tight little holes - Leather Crowd, Nelly queens, Bears, etc.

I like the city country mouse comparison. thanks.