super lost (sorry for length)

[inked281]

Hi guys! So I'm about to have a panic attack just posting this so if its a bit scattered I'm sorry. First I think a bit if background before my question.

I'm 24, raised very Christian and never thought id be on a website like this one.
I was married to a woman for 5 years and divorced about a year ago because she's insane we have 2 children ages 4 and 3 who are my whole world.

When I was a young kid, between 6 and 8 I had a 'special ' friend who was a boy from my school. As I got older I exclusively was attracted to girls.

After the divorce I met this Guy and we had sex, he was bottom and I had no real attraction to him, I was just very lonely. I have been too freaked out to try it again, but I think about sex with guys all the time. I want to but I have no idea if its going to be another disaster. I guess the question in all this is, how do I figure out if its something worth trying when I don't know any gay guys, all my friends are super straight and I'm just scared I guess.

<3's all around. Thanks for any response

[Scotty]

I would say I'm in the same boat as you mate, but I don't have kids or been married. However I do think about sex with lads a lot all my mates are straight. Ive slept with girls , but I'm not exactly sure if I'm just kidding myself on, or trying to hide it from my mates. I tend to meet other lads who are not either by network sites and such I know it's not ideal as there some nutters out there but a standing cock has no conscience lol

[artboy23]

Hi guys! So I'm about to have a panic attack just posting this so if its a bit scattered I'm sorry. First I think a bit if background before my question.

I'm 24, raised very Christian and never thought id be on a website like this one.
I was married to a woman for 5 years and divorced about a year ago because she's insane we have 2 children ages 4 and 3 who are my whole world.

When I was a young kid, between 6 and 8 I had a 'special ' friend who was a boy from my school. As I got older I exclusively was attracted to girls.

After the divorce I met this Guy and we had sex, he was bottom and I had no real attraction to him, I was just very lonely. I have been too freaked out to try it again, but I think about sex with guys all the time. I want to but I have no idea if its going to be another disaster. I guess the question in all this is, how do I figure out if its something worth trying when I don't know any gay guys, all my friends are super straight and I'm just scared I guess.

<3's all around. Thanks for any response

look you have to step out of your shell some time even if it is on a online dateing site.

[pellaz]

welcome to gayspeak

... I think about sex with guys all the time. I want to but I have no idea if its going to be another disaster ...

Hope you made notes during your straight marriage because relationships are a lot the same gay or straight.

.. how do I figure out if its something worth trying when I don't know any gay guys ...

-even if you have gay friend(s) dosnt mean you can get them in bed with you.
-everything in life is worth trying tho this type of thing best done when your like 16. See how your Christian up bringing has worked out for you.
-serious; its not so much the sex, you can get off all by your self, the question is can you have a relationship with another man? Could you have a successful house hold, you and your husband?
-I think you have answered your own question, its worth trying. Just be honest with your partner about your feelings.

[Sylph]

welcome to gayspeak


Hope you made notes during your straight marriage because relationships are a lot the same gay or straight.


-even if you have gay friend(s) dosnt mean you can get them in bed with you.
-everything in life is worth trying tho this type of thing best done when your like 16. See how your Christian up bringing has worked out for you.
-serious; its not so much the sex, you can get off all by your self, the question is can you have a relationship with another man? Could you have a successful house hold, you and your husband?
-I think you have answered your own question, its worth trying. Just be honest with your partner about your feelings.

I second this, and in addition I would say that, don't force yourself into something that your not comfortable with and then become unhappy. Just because your a Christian male, who just happens to like other guys, doesn't mean your any less of yourself or a human being for that matter. Like Pellaz said, just be honest with your partner and yourself as well. :biggrin: .

[inked281]

Thanks for the response. As a teen I went through some traumatic stuff from like 11 to 16 so sexuality wasn't something I confronted. And I mentioned not having gay friends because I don't have anyone to talk to about it, not because I want 'get in bed ' with them.and yes my marriage taught me alit about relationships in general. Thanks again

[Sylph]

Sorry about your trauma, but I'm glad for you and the changes your willing to make/ are making. Even by joining this site, you've taken another step in theright direction. Your in a community that understands you and can relate to you, so now you can take advantage of this. Now you've got a butt(no pun intended )-load of gay/lesbian/bi-sexual/transgendered and even straight men and women here who can relate to you and help you through things.

Hooray for your progress :cheerleaderz2:

[azulai]

Hi and to GS!

You've have a lot going on. Maybe don't rush anything? Maybe work on some TLC for yourself and let things kind of calm down and fall into place? Some of the way you are feeling may be curiosity or it may be something deeper within. I hope you make peace with your baggage (divorce, Christian background, etc) so that your next relationship is positive and lasting whether it be with a guy or a girl. mile:

This is a great place to slowly explore things. There is no rush to figure things out and you have 2 little kids that need you emotionally and physically healthy. There are lots of old threads to read and new ones for you to make.

eta: and, your post was NOT long! I was kind of disappointed -- wait until you see some of mine!:redface::biggrin:

[Rainbowmum]

Hi and welcome to GS,

There is not really much I can add, I have to agree with azulai on this one.
Slow down, calm down, get to know yourself again.
Hugs

[Gizzie]

If you don’t give it a try you never know.
Sure there is a risk that you will have a disaster, but there is always a good chance the next time will be enjoyable…
You owe it to yourself to find out who you really are inside 
Good luck!!!