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Anyone ever gone back in the closet?
#1
The subject title may be a little misleading. I came out as gay about six years ago, because at the time I felt that was the truth. However, growing up I had as much feeling for various girls as I did boys. I think once I decided to be honest about my attraction to men I sort of suppressed my attraction to women (which sounds kind of backwards, right?). There's been times when I've met really cute girls that whom I would have liked to pursue, but thought, "I can't do that. I told everyone I'm gay."

What I'm trying to say is that I think I'm bisexual. But I honestly feel more embarrassed and ashamed of that than when I was coming to terms with being attracted to guys. It would mortifying to tell my fam and friends that "Hey, you know how I told you I was exclusively emotionally and physically attracted to men, and how you had to give up all hope of biological grandchildren, and how difficult it was for all of us but how you came through and ended up being supportive and all that? Yeah, well... um... I kinda changed my mind."

Being gay at least feels concrete and definite. I really don't want to come off as confused. But hell, maybe I am. Has anyone else felt this way? Am I over caring what others might think? I really wish we could disregard the whole label thing and there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place.
#2
People are not static. The one thing I've heard above all else is that everything changes, even sexuality.

Labels are problematic that way, aren't they? Wink
#3
yeahm, i think there are plenty of ppl going back into the closet but I believe most of them are not "beecause they're attracted to girls" but because they come out too fast without a little planning ahead and get a little disappointed when things are not as exciting as they expected to be...

However, in your case where you said you are possibly bisexual - why don't you give yourself a chance and find out? I'm sure bisexual have more chances of hooking up with a partner xD
#4
I'd give yourself some time, decide what, if anything really fits you and, when you do decide, don't make a big deal of it, but be honest.

Like anything else, sexuality can be fluid for a multitude of reasons. Just be you and don't worry about it so much.
#5
Thank you very much for the responses. You all echoed exactly what I feel. In terms of the way I feel about myself, I don't consider it a big deal. I guess I'm wondering if I should tell my family or just not even think about them and if something were to develop with a girl just be like, "Oh, didn't I tell you? I like girls too." Theoretically, I would like to live my life like my sexual presence is not a big deal and no one should ever have to "come out." But it's hard to live by that principle sometimes.
#6
Thanks for posting this! I liked women and men until about 10 years ago and my desire for men became more dominant. That's my biggest fear that if I do say that I am gay or end up in a relationship with a guy, I would one day regret ever telling anyone that I was gay. This could be because I could change my mind or become attracted to women. I do see some that I like, but it is rare. I say take your time and pay close attention to how you feel. Maybe go on a date with a woman to see if you can hit it off. My favorite situation is when you see a very attractive woman and start to think"hmmmm... she's kind of nice and then a hot guy walks by and you feel something that you didn't feel for the girl. I say take your time.
#7
I am bisexual, but growing up I was gay. As a younger boy I was only sexually interested in other boys. I actually had little to no contact with girls. I never came out as gay, i was scared. But I did accept myself as gay. But all of the sudden women started invading my fancy. Here I was all confused again. I was approx twenty five when this started.

It is a bit harder finding love as a bisexual man. Gay men think you will leave them for a woman and women think you will leave them for a man. but I think it is more common than it seems that gay men especially gay young men find out they are really bisexual.
#8
Things in life aren´t all black or white, there are intermediate states and not all people are the same, your sexuality is not 100% Gay or 100% Hetero you can be in one point between the two extremes, and is perferctly normal
#9
I love labels! <sarcasm>

homosexual
heterosexual
asexual
bisexual
ambisexual
just SEXUAL
trisexual (I'll try anything once)...

Smile


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