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Closeted Crush
#1
Ok so I am a closeted senior in high school and I have a crush on a guy who I sit next to in one of my classes who is really hot. I get along really well with him and I think he could be gay but I think he likes a girl who he used to be in a relationship with but I think a lot of people at school seem to think he is gay. I really want to come out to him and tell him that I am gay and that I like him but I don't want to ruin the good friendship we have and I am kinda nervous because I haven't come out to anyone before. Any advice?
#2
I would move a little slower, it's ok to come out to a friend if you think he'll be alright with it. But to jump from that to telling him you like him is maybe rushing it. Especially, when you don't know if he's gay. I know, from personal experience, that wishful thinking can sometimes make you see signs that probably aren't really there.
When a subject is highly controversial — and any question about sex is that — one cannot hope to tell the truth. One can only show how one came to hold whatever opinion one does hold. One can only give one's audience the chance of drawing their own conclusions as they observe the limitations, the prejudices, the idiosyncrasies of the speaker.
- Virginia Woolf
#3
If these two are friends, is there anything wrong in one telling the other what's on his mind? ... I mean, what's to stop Anonymous from telling his friend he's gay or thinks he's gay.

I would advise against admitting to the crush though, unless Anon meets with a good reaction and approval or support to this coming out. The fact that people think Anon's crush is gay is no indication that he really is, though, and it would be hurtful to him to assume that people are right about him without his own confession.
I think Anon can out himself if he wishes, but certainly not assume that his friend is gay on the grounds of rumours. If the friends admits that he is too, it doesn't necessarily ensue that he'll want to be Anon's boyfriend or date, despite his crush on him.

But surely they can both remain friends, can't they, whatever each guy's sexual orientation may be?
#4
Anonymous Wrote:I really want to come out to him and tell him that I am gay and that I like him but I don't want to ruin the good friendship we have and I am kinda nervous because I haven't come out to anyone before. Any advice?

Don't rush things. If you're friends and you feel you can trust him then it's okay to come out to him but also telling him about your feelings for him (there's even the chance of him not being gay) is a bit too much. Take things slow.
#5
TuxSky Wrote:Don't rush things. If you're friends and you feel you can trust him then it's okay to come out to him but also telling him about your feelings for him (there's even the chance of him not being gay) is a bit too much. Take things slow.

Look like we just got an expert in this matter Tongue


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