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College Situation! Please Help!
#1
Hello All! I am a first time poster. My name is Nate and I live in New York City. I kind of have a situation with this guy and I need help. So I met this guy in college last year and I was only friends with him because we were in the same club. So one day (a few months back) he got my phone number from one of my friends and invited me and my friend (a girl) to a movie and I okay. When we were walking to the movie I was complaining about the weather (it was really cold) and he lend his jacket and o fcourse my friends was looking at me as if he wanted something. So a few months after the movie we have been hanging out a lot. I don't know if he is just a touchy person but he always likes to touch my face or my ears. One time he even told me feel his stomach because he said he was getting fat lol. I was starting to think he was gay or at least bi because he I would always touch me when we hang out (nothing dirty like putting his arm over neck and stuff like that) but the funny thing is that every time we hang out he always talks about girls. He talks about them a little TO MUCH. He always make inappropriate comments about girls and he is always tell me he his female problem so after this I thought he was straight. Recently I have developed feelings for him and I told him how I felt about him. I told him I liked him and I understand if he didn't want to be friends anymore because things might get weird between us. He told me that he loved me and his doesn't think I am weird and I would still be his friend. My question to you guys is do you think he is gay or bi or maybe in the closest?????? A lot of my friends think he is gay but i don't know what to think. His responds are very vague. I just got back to college from break and I will see him tomorrow. I haven't seen him in a month and I have no idea what to tell him.
#2
natelenh Wrote:Hello All! I am a first time poster. My name is Nate and I live in New York City. I kind of have a situation with this guy and I need help. So I met this guy in college last year and I was only friends with him because we were in the same club. So one day (a few months back) he got my phone number from one of my friends and invited me and my friend (a girl) to a movie and I okay. When we were walking to the movie I was complaining about the weather (it was really cold) and he lend his jacket and o fcourse my friends was looking at me as if he wanted something. So a few months after the movie we have been hanging out a lot. I don't know if he is just a touchy person but he always likes to touch my face or my ears. One time he even told me feel his stomach because he said he was getting fat lol. I was starting to think he was gay or at least bi because he I would always touch me when we hang out (nothing dirty like putting his arm over neck and stuff like that) but the funny thing is that every time we hang out he always talks about girls. He talks about them a little TO MUCH. He always make inappropriate comments about girls and he is always tell me he his female problem so after this I thought he was straight. Recently I have developed feelings for him and I told him how I felt about him. I told him I liked him and I understand if he didn't want to be friends anymore because things might get weird between us. He told me that he loved me and his doesn't think I am weird and I would still be his friend. My question to you guys is do you think he is gay or bi or maybe in the closest?????? A lot of my friends think he is gay but i don't know what to think. His responds are very vague. I just got back to college from break and I will see him tomorrow. I haven't seen him in a month and I have no idea what to tell him.

Let's distill what's been said.

Smile

You said: I have feelings for you; I like you; I understand if you don't wanna be friends anymore.

He said: I love you; you're not weird; I still wanna be your friend.

Seems pretty straight forward to me. You have a good friend (for now). Maybe something more develops in the future, but this is where you stand as of today.

Good luck and welcome to GaySpeak.
#3
Just go with the flow. So he knows you like him. If he like likes you then he will come around n.n
#4
By the sounds of it he is comfortable in his sexuality... Straight guys at times like gay guys giving them attention because it bigs up their macho macho man image and it can be seen as a brilliant compliment... Just take things easy and stay where they are and see what happens... Least at the moment you know what you can expect
#5
ha-ha, that's too cute of a story. Tongue I'd love to very much hear about the major mile stones of this relationship.

So like the above posters said, go with the flow. He obviously didn't say anything about him being gay or interested in you in that nature. So I'd try not to come off as strong, or try not to well "obsess" over it because he could quite be straight, and you don't want to develop feelings for this guy. Next thing you see him kissing some girl and your heart is broken!

Tongue Go with the flow, be his friend, but just don't push him too hard?

I guess I could see a few scenarios from this.

1. He could quite be gay, just not willing to tell you yet, he needs to trust you before he can and he quite well could be in the closet.

2. Like the above poster said, he could be totally straight, and just love the compliments you're giving him. (Be wary of what this situation, falling for a straight guy can totally crush you in the end)

3. He could possibly be Bi, but depending on how you see your relationship with this guy this could be a bad thing. Because he could quite possibly like girls more than guys, and only just want to fool around.

4. So most Bi guys go through the above stage, where they might want to experiment. So again I'd be wary not to put too much into forming a long-term relationship with him because it could be very devastating on you in the end if he's just wanting to experiment.

: ) Good, luck! and keep us updated heh..heh..
#6
I was in a very similar situation when I was younger. My best friend, another guy, hugged me and would wrap his arm around me and cuddle if I slept over, he played footsie with me, but he always went on and on about girls. I believe that he never came to realize his sexuality, and that he tried to hide it in public. But, I really think that we need to be careful about attaching labels to people. If someone is questioning their sexuality, why would they instantly label themselves with gay or bi if they don't know how they feel? I take on the label "gay" because it best describes how I feel toward men and women.

I spent a lot of time worrying over him because I really grew to love him. When I told him that he was the first guy I ever loved, truly loved, he said that nothing would change, that I was still his best friend. If you love him, then love him, just realize that there's a strong chance that he is not going to be romantically invested in you, I'm sorry to say. Keep his friendship and love him for that.

Best of luck!
#7
I think your friend made it pretty straight.
He knows about your feelings but wants to stay friends.
Once he has said that I dont think it matters what his sexuality is.

So just act normal and be friends with him for now Smile


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