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FWB having feelings for me? What to do?
#1
Some background: 2 months ago my ex and I broke up. A week into the break up, I met this guy through Grindr and we had sex a few times. A month later, my ex came back, but dumped me shortly after; the day of the break up, that guy initiated a conversation and I ended up saying what happened. He was very sweet, caring and the next day we hang out together (no sex).

It's been a month now and we got really close. We talk to each other everyday, for hours. We go out to parties, bars, to eat, he often brings me homemade cookies (made by himself) and is always hinting he wants to see me... everyday. He invites me to every place he goes. He lives very near. There was this one time we slept together and when we woke up he said "I wish I could wake up to you everyday".

The problem is: I don't have ANY feelings for him. Zero. Nada. In fact, I'm starting to feel annoyed when he talks. The truth is I'm still in love with my ex, so getting involved with someone else now is a big no-no.

He's a great guy, he's handsome, everyone glances over him whenever we're out. My friends say he's really hot. His personality is amazing, we have lots of things in common, we can easily go hours and hours talking. We get along very well. But I'm not looking for anything more than a friendship here. I don't even feel like kissing/having sex with him anymore. On another note, he seems to be very into me and I'm afraid he's very involved already.

I wanna talk to him about this but I'm unsure whether I should or not. Btw, in 2 days I'll be out of town for a month, perhaps I should wait for when I come back?
#2
Sounds like you're passing up a good deal... But not every deal is good enough for everyone. Get this in your head "you and your ex will never work out" if you get back together for a second time and it still doesn't work out why try for a third? I'd give this guy a chance just to see but if you don't have anything to give stop giving him openings and wasting his time. If you're gonna cut him off don't be a cunt i=by doing it sounds like he's a really nice guy ( ill take him off your hands)
I am the angles that hold and surround you

I am the demon you're afraid to meet
#3
You are clearly still hung up on your ex, and are indeed therefore not ready for another relationship. You need to talk to this guy ASAP, and make your feelings clear. He seems very much into you, and if you don't feel the same then you need to tell him before his feelings develop still further and there becomes even more of an imbalance, which could end up being quite painful on his part. Good luck.
#4
VirgoMasquerade Wrote:Sounds like you're passing up a good deal... But not every deal is good enough for everyone. Get this in your head "you and your ex will never work out" if you get back together for a second time and it still doesn't work out why try for a third? I'd give this guy a chance just to see but if you don't have anything to give stop giving him openings and wasting his time. If you're gonna cut him off don't be a cunt i=by doing it sounds like he's a really nice guy ( ill take him off your hands)

I do think I am passing up a good deal, too. Maybe if we met under other circumstances... and I don't wanna try with my ex again. He dumped me twice. I had enough. Still need time to fully move on though.

Cridders88 Wrote:You are clearly still hung up on your ex, and are indeed therefore not ready for another relationship. You need to talk to this guy ASAP, and make your feelings clear. He seems very much into you, and if you don't feel the same then you need to tell him before his feelings develop still further and there becomes even more of an imbalance, which could end up being quite painful on his part. Good luck.

I already told him I'm not looking for a relationship and that I still think about my ex daily. Every couple days he asks me "how's my heart?" and I tell him that. I didn't want to have a "we need to talk" moment, I already made it clear that I'm not looking for a relationship, so I would be just stating the obvious. The real problem now is that I don't even feel like having anything intimate with him, even though he's great in bed. But anyway, since I'm travelling this Friday, I'll leave it at that.
#5
[MENTION=22564]VirgoMasquerade[/MENTION], I also think I'm passing a good deal, but for me there has to be a stronger feeling than just getting along well. You know, that magic. That makes you very happy and want to see the other person all the time. That makes you want to love them and make everything special for them. That's how I felt with my ex and I don't feel any of it with him.

[MENTION=22727]Cridders88[/MENTION], I already made it clear to him that I don't want a relationship, but every couple days he asks "how's my heart?" and stuff like that. I tell him that I miss my ex very much and still love him. I also told him I don't want anything serious any soon. I think he's maybe waiting around for me to open up, but that's not happening with him. I can feel it. I guess I'll wait for when I come back to have this conversation, if needed. I don't want to have one of these "we need to talk" conversations. He knows where I stand, it would be like stating the obvious.
#6
[MENTION=23711]Haerts[/MENTION] Some guys are just gluttons for punishment. Sounds like you and this sorta-FWB both are. You're still pining after some ass who has emotionally mistreated you and the 'FWB' is investing emotional energy in someone with no interest in him.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE, PEOPLE?

I swear, sometimes I think some guys just WANT to get pissed on (and no, I don't mean water sports).

I agree with [MENTION=22727]Cridders88[/MENTION] that you should tell him wha you say he already knows. But this time? Make it stick... tell him you don't want anything further to do with him. Block him. Why? Well, because in this instance it is the right thing to do. He'll be thinking about you for a month... why do that to a good guy? Or is that actually your game? Stringing him along? If you don't want him, set him free. Chase him off with a stick if you have to. But yeah, stop being a douche.
.
#7
The guy has a hopeless crush on you and you have to make clear to him that there is no future in it. You need not be cruel but you must be specific that there is no future in it.

At the very least you should explain to him that you want your ex back and are going to try for it.He simply has to understand that you must quit you friendship in order to be fair to his feelings. In rather old fashioned terms: DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE after you explain this to him.
I bid NO Trump!
#8
[MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION][/QUOTE], wow, hey, calm down. I was 2 years with my ex-bf, I went through a lot and I still consider the break up recent. I'm not going to stop loving someone in a couple hours, nor getting over it like nothing happened. You know, we can't control our feelings all the time. Also, I'm not being an a-hole to that guy, although I agree I should tell him (again). I already made it clear, when we go out partying I make it sure to him that we can meet other people (I haven't, but he has), I also said I still have feelings for my ex and I'm not looking for anything serious due that reason. I don't know what else I can do, he's nice and I'd like to have him as a friend. I'm not even 100% sure he is that invested, I'm just assuming so due the circumstances. But he's free.

[MENTION=20933]LJay[/MENTION], I don't want my ex back. Each day it gets easier to understand that we're not made for each other. As much as I love him, getting back with him would be a huge mistake. And if I have to end the friendship because he's involved, then so be it. I would miss him, but if that would be the best for him then I guess it's appropriate.


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