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Feel all twisted up inside
#1
I have no doubt in my mind that i am gay. I have always found sexual contact with women...i don't know...for a lack of better words uncomfortable and my first sexual experience with another man liberating. My problem is i don't feel comfortable about the idea of coming out about it. I don't worry about my friends much if at all but my family is a very different manner. Most of my family has said they are okay with gay people but i have a feeling they would react differently with it actually being in the family. I am going to start with my sister because she is a big supporter of the LGBT community (and possibly bi herself...never said anything about it but i have suspicions). I still don't know if i should be open with the rest of my family though...:confused: Advice from veterans of their own internal conflicts would be much appreciated.
#2
Awe, well hey you're taking the first step by identifying yourself for who you are.

You don't have to come out to your family (not yet). I'll wait till you're more secure then reconsider coming out, you don't wan to life your life lying to them do you?

If you feel up to it your sister sounds like a good start, given that she's such a big supporter chances she "may" be "bi" if you have suspicions. Maybe become a supporter yourself with her for starting out if you don't feel comfortable coming out to her yet.

I have two younger brothers, they may have their suspicions, one because my younger brother (the second one) caught me once watching gay porn lol. --.--' awkward! We never talked about it till today...

I haven't told anyone in my immediate family, but I did send a big hint to my cousin and she supported me 100% she even gave me advice on one of my relationships.

So take it easy, become more comfortable with yourself and your surroundings, then when you're READY do what you have to do. : )

Good Luck!
#3
I think it's awesome that you are confronting this and making strategic plans for liberating yourself as an open gay man! You're taking a very objective and mature approach, so good for you!
Believe me, I waited way too many years to come out, somehow thinking I was protecting my family from shame and protecting myself from rejection by them. While there will surely be challenges for you as you progress, it will be totally worth it for you and you will feel so much better inside. I think the sister idea is wonderful, but just make sure you do it at a time and place where you will have some time to spend discussing all your concerns with her re: the rest of the family. She can help you formulate next steps. I recommend telling others one at a time though, avoid the "group" announcement. People tend to be more reasonable and understanding when its one-on-one.
But remember, don't ever apologize for who you are, just tell them who you are and tell them you love them and accept them as they are and that's all you want in return. If your family truly loves their son and brother, they will probably love you even more in the end. Confusedmile:
Good luck friend!
#4
even for a short time volunteer at the local LGBT. What ever method. Identify the gay person you want to be (if any) and the ones you wold rather avoid.

The ladies are a great resource for a gay man. It is difficult to figure who you really are, so accumulate friends who lovingly support you. I just feel its not automatic for you to share this with your family, you have lived with them all your life, because you know they will not be able to contribute much.
#5
Just came out to my sister and best friend! Feels great and i think they both like me more now that they know im gay!! XD
#6
Congrats mealhead Smile
#7
I found this the same problem. Like I kinda knew that my family would be ok with it. But it's always different with them cos you can always make new friends. You can't get new family.

First off I started to tell friends. And also I knew my family knew cos I forgot to delete the history on the computer a few times O.o sooooooo that I think made it most clear in their minds and my mum says she could tell ever since I was little. And the chance of someone in your family guessing is very high. Unless you have absolutely no hint of campness at all and that is rather rare in gay men. Even a lot of bi men have give aways.
#8
timm Wrote:I think it's awesome that you are confronting this and making strategic plans for liberating yourself as an open gay man! You're taking a very objective and mature approach, so good for you!
Believe me, I waited way too many years to come out, somehow thinking I was protecting my family from shame and protecting myself from rejection by them. While there will surely be challenges for you as you progress, it will be totally worth it for you and you will feel so much better inside. I think the sister idea is wonderful, but just make sure you do it at a time and place where you will have some time to spend discussing all your concerns with her re: the rest of the family. She can help you formulate next steps. I recommend telling others one at a time though, avoid the "group" announcement. People tend to be more reasonable and understanding when its one-on-one.
But remember, don't ever apologize for who you are, just tell them who you are and tell them you love them and accept them as they are and that's all you want in return. If your family truly loves their son and brother, they will probably love you even more in the end. Confusedmile:
Good luck friend!

First, welcome to GS timm.
Smile

Second, along the same lines as going one day at a time, I also like the idea of going one person at a time. No need to rent the Goodyear blimp!
#9
i recently came out aswell and it does feel amazing !

but dont tell everybody vause thats what i did and people started to tell and now i feel pressured into coming out into the rest of my family but i already told my family and my brother who i thought was gonna hate me for it. he was like you will always be my little brother etc. so i was so happy there

still tell people just dont get carried away like i did !


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