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Gay men, relationship-phobia, and genuinity
I read this whole thread, and I don't see anyone perceiving your grievances negatively at all.

Every reply was someone genuinely trying to help, each in his own way. Maybe you could reread the posts from that perspective?

My own experience, I was single for more than half of my 30s and 40s, and I didn't much want to be. But my life was full and rich in other ways. Eventually I found a guy who gets me and loves me. He wanted to be a part of all the really cool things I was doing, and to help out in all the cool things I had created. He saw that I was way out of the mainstream of U.S. culture and he liked that. We met online on one of the obvious sites.

So think about making your life fulfilling to you as a single guy. The way you described your life now, I can't see what goals you are pursuing and what cool interests you have. My advice is to prioritize creating your awesome life as single. Then if a guy comes into your life, so be it, but it's really just an augmentation to what's already great and going on for you.

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