Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Is it possible to change from bottom to top?
I have been a Navy (bottom) brat my whole life and because of my small frame I have always been a bottom when it comes to sex with other men. I remember serving when some guys would make me put a wig on and have me screaming like a girl. They would make me their bitch and I could never fight back enough to be on top.

This was years ago and I hope times have changed where I can find someone that I can rendezvous with and let me take top. Unfortunately I am now married so I am not looking to leave my wife and kids. I live in central North Carolina so this can be done either on the beach or in the mountains. I’m open to either with the right man.

My name is Joseph (friends call me Joe); I’m a working professional and a manager at a local mechanical engineering firm. I still keep fit but sadly enough they only have individual showers at my gym so it’s difficult to spark up a nice shower conversation. Hope to find some new best buds, I have moved away from my old Navy buds (mostly residing in CA). I do get some time to visit them while I go away on a ‘business’ trip.

Joseph V.
it doesn't matter how you are, it's not important, if you feel uncomfortable, you can change your sex behavior from bottom to top or quite the contrary, before i was a top but now i'm bottom and i like it! Big Grin
You say "Unfortunately I am now married" as if it was something that happened to you, not something you entered into freely. This is a bit odd to me. Does the wife know any of what you're telling us? Am I being too harsh?

Marriage should never be unfortunate, and when it is, it is unfortunate for being unfortunate. Having affairs is not good, primarily because it's disrespecting your partner, but also because it often will come back to hurt you (ugly divorce, scandel, etc.). Because of that, if you are cheating you may want to consider divorce...

That said -- a 'top' is simply someone that penetrates. To have a wife and resulting children you must have some characteristics of a top --- characteristics such as high sex drive, assertiveness, etc. are often associated with tops as well, though they are perhaps stereotypes are obviously not required, regardless these are things most people can do...

Also note that you describe being dressed as a girl and not being able to fight back enough to be a top. Sex is really not a fight... at least, not with most people you're likely to find --- you may find it difficult to find people that would be willing to participate in that kind of sex. What you may find are people who are willing to let you try something new -- there are a lot of apps and websites you can use. What I mean to say, is expect that your experiences in the army were not completely typical, and that there are a limited number of people that would be willing to re-create them.

Lastly, the top/bottom roles exist mostly as a matter of preference and for identifying potential partners in hook ups. They are essentially labels describing what an individual likes/enjoys. For example, I don't really like mustard, but I wouldn't suddenly wake up one day saying: "Hmm, how can I force myself to like this?".

Your preferences are your preferences, and you can explore and expand on them, but you can't totally change who you are. If you find yourself not enjoying something, don't force yourself to do it.

And by the way
Yeah..............just flip over.
Well, Mister Tinkles answered the question in your headline, but from reading the body of your post, it sounds more like your looking for hookups. I'm new here, so I haven't learned all the ins and outs of this forum, but I think you'd do better elsewhere. Feel free to stick around, hear our views and contribute your own if you like, but I think you'll need to register on one of the dating sites to find what you're looking for.
behaviors can change, I've seen some big burly guys take it in the ass, and some tiny, effeminate little girly boys that can really deliver some aggressive topping. It's all a matter of what you want to do, obviously you don't mind being the penetrative partner as you have children by your wife. I would advise you to explore your sexuality more and try to be more of a top. There are apps and websites available that can provide guys for your entertainment. You can also look into the cruising scene in your area and see if a nearby major city has a Gay Men's Spa or Bathhouse, that scene can be kind of nasty, but it's convenient if you're in a sexual bind and can't find anyone right away.

I'd suggest Adam4Adam as they don't require a lot of profile information/pics/et cetera, that way you don't have to worry about your wife finding out. Although honestly, at your age, it's probably time to quit lying to yourself and lying to her. If you're unhappy with her, it's probably not a good idea to stay there.
don't cheat on your wife.

You may have gathered by now that this is not a hook-up site, although, over the years I've been associated with it that has not prevented friendships and relationships from breaking out. As some people have already pointed out though, you might find it more productive to carry out your search on other sites better suited to what you seek.

I notice that some people feel it appropriate to offer their views on the nature of your quest, even though that wasn't what you asked. I can't help thinking that people who have never had to deal with sexual orientation conflict in their lives are very fortunate. Others can see the light and become insufferably puritan in an ex-smoker kind of way. I really used to hope that you and I would be among the last generation who felt pressured into marriage by others who had some kind of anti-gay agenda. There is, currently, a huge fightback by religiously inspired homophobes who promote all kinds of inappropriate responses to being g, l, b or t and it seems that there may still be others younger than we are who get caught up in relationships that, ultimately, are not right for them. My wish for the future is that all will have an opportunity to live out their lives to be their very best and to be able to brighten the lives of others around them. I don't know your story. I don't need to know. May you and those you love find peace and happiness.

On the other hand you could just be a horndog or a troll, I suppose ... :tongue:
I was actually kind of hoping for some clarification, not just trying to call the guy out. But there's been zero response from the OP and no further activity. So my troll radar is warming up...

Possibly Related Threads…
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  I can only eat bad stuff and have no idea how to change Anonymous 8 974 09-04-2016, 02:49 AM
Last Post: InbetweenDreams
  Bottom dating a bottom. Mark88 8 1,580 05-03-2016, 12:04 AM
Last Post: TigerLover
  Boyfriend won't bottom but has for ex partners Leigh542 12 1,913 07-01-2015, 04:03 PM
Last Post: Darius
  possible for change of views? Anonymous 14 1,376 06-27-2015, 07:30 AM
Last Post: Anonymous
  My turn to ask for advice for a change... MikeW 46 2,753 06-26-2015, 02:14 PM
Last Post: MikeW

Forum Jump:

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)