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Is it wrong to be jealous?
#1
I am a single gay guy.

I always feel jealous whenever I see couples in a relationship (in real life and in social media).

It makes me feel upset that I'm not in an intimate relationship. 

My jealousy is not the evil sort of emotion whereby I wish harm to befall on those people (I have seen a lot of other people commenting like that on their profiles.)

It is actually more like a deep yearning on why I can't be like them. 

I know this is not morally right but I can't help but feel jealous.

I noticed that my jealousy is more towards gay couples (because I relate more to them). I don't really feel jealous about straight couples though.

My coping mechanism is that I block the accounts of those couples in social media. I somehow feel better if I choose to "hide it from my sight".

I am following some people in the social media apps like Facebook and Instagram. The moment I find out that they have a boyfriend/husband, I will immediately block their account. I find that it is easier to hide those facts from myself than to go through the pain of jealousy.

I have been trying to make myself a better person by practicing compassion, empathy etc. But I feel it's tough not to feel jealous. 

Am I an evil person to be jealous? 
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#2
I had a long conversation with a girl I know about her jealousy a few years back and in the course of the conversation I realized I have never really experienced jealousy that I am aware of. In the case of couples - my reaction is to be happy for them and in the case of "self" I don't really compare myself to anyone else and I like being who I am.

Maybe try changing the way you think or your habits. For instance - don't compare yourself to anyone else and if your mind goes there find a way to put a stop to it. Maybe next time you see a couple - try being happy for them.

You can make new habits and/or retrain you mind if you choose to. Jealousy is not an attractive quality IMO so it is a worthy goal to overcome that quality.
[-] The following 1 member Likes eastofeden's post:
  • calgor
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#3
(03-13-2022, 08:37 PM)eastofeden Wrote: I had a long conversation with a girl I know about her jealousy a few years back and in the course of the conversation I realized I have never really experienced jealousy that I am aware of. In the case of couples - my reaction is to be happy for them and in the case of "self" I don't really compare myself to anyone else and I like being who I am.

Maybe try changing the way you think or your habits. For instance - don't compare yourself to anyone else and if your mind goes there find a way to put a stop to it. Maybe next time you see a couple - try being happy for them.

You can make new habits and/or retrain you mind if you choose to. Jealousy is not an attractive quality IMO so it is a worthy goal to overcome that quality.

Thank you for your reply @eastofeden

I am following your advice and trying my best to change my thinking. Nowadays when I come across a couple's photo, video etc., I mentally try to wish them happiness and love in their relationship. But sometimes, envy tend to take over me. Just feel some difficulty in this practice.
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#4
I sometimes have similar feelings of yearnfulness, never malice. Loneliness has too many different faces, to be described. Envy isn't so terrible. The good thing about jealousy is that it means you still have a good idea of what you want. Those who have no idea of what they want are the ones I feel sorry for.
.
Beautifully (and erotically) dressed always beats undressed!
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#5
I think it's natural to feel jealous in situations like that.

However, you need to ask yourself what you are doing to remedy the situation. Sitting around being jealous isn't going to help. What are you doing to actively meet people who want to be in a relationship?

and I'm not talking about hook-up sites. Nothing wrong with them, but you mentioned relationships, that is completely different from a hook-up
[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]  <<< It's mine!
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