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Oh these mixed signals!
#1
Okay so there is this guy that I like, the usual intro. Our relationship seems to be getting stronger then it used to be. We have been friends for a couple of years now and he seems to like me so much but also gives me mixed signals.

So here goes, I don't know if he knows I am gay. And I don't know if he is. Or if he is if he even likes me that way. I have studied body language and all the signs are there. His pupils dilate when I am a around. He keeps constant eye contact when we are talking. He smiles endlessly when I am around. His feet almost always point towards me. If we touch he never pulls away. He always leans towards me when I am talking. There is something in his eyes that says more than friends when I look. He always puts his hands around his crotch and seems to want me to see his goods. He constantly wants me to feel his muscles. He put his head on my shoulder one evening at the movies. If I touch my crotch I can always see him looking out the corner of my eye.

Then there is the fact we are almost always together. His face seems to light up when I come around. He cancels plans just to spend more time with me. He tells me to drive slow when we are out. All of his plans he has he almost always includes me. He offered to buy me a pair of shoes the other day when he went to the mall. He also really wanted me to go on the mall trip but I couldn't and he was gonna be gone for a couple of days. He has made so many plans for our future and they all include me Smile

But then the mixed signals come in. He says he doesn't get turned on by penis. He is always texting girls. Well when I am not talking then thankfully the attention is back on me when I am. He ditched me with another guy the other night to go "scouting girls" I am really hoping this was just because the other guy was. I was hanging with my other friend which might have been why. I hope he wasn't really into it. But then held the car door open for me later which he did for no one else.

His dad is a major homophobe and he said his dad said he would kill him if he found out that he was gay. So weather that is implying that he is and don't want his dad to find out or if he was he would kill him, I don't know. So I am hoping this is what all the claims of being straight are coming from. I am hoping it is just to get his dad off of his back. He is actually moving out to get away from his dad. But he says he is gonna come back every weekend and we are going out. And he wants me to get a job where he is moving to.

Then coming home from a ride one evening he turned off the music and said he needed to ask me a serious question. He asked me what I thought about love? Needless to say this really got me thinking about why he was asking. I jokingly answered its bullshit like he always says. Then said its there, you just gotta wait. Then he asked me if I ever liked anyone. I said of course, then he asked who. I said I will never tell. He seemed disappointed and said I didn't figure. Maybe hoping I would slip and say a guys name, or hopefully his but once again I don't know. There is always a reason for every question.

Just the fact that this boy wants to be around me so much despite everyone telling him I am gay says something to me. He says he don't give a shit what everyone says. Someone please help me I am going crazy trying to figure this boy out. There seems to be more positive things than negative. But I have been here before and always get let down. So any advice, answers, stories, anything would help, thanks.
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#2
Why try and figure it out?

Why not grow a pair and ask him?

No one knows how he feels but him, sounds like the mixed signals are going both ways and one of you needs to cut the bullshit and tell it like it is Wink

I'm just saying...Luck favours the brave.
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#3
JRexrode Wrote:... Then coming home from a ride one evening he turned off the music and said he needed to ask me a serious question. He asked me what I thought about love? Needless to say this really got me thinking about why he was asking ...
dont miss an opportunity like this. If he moves out, give him a inexpensive masculine bracelet to wear, when you see him again talk to him; something like "I dont care who loves me, straight or gay, so long as its genuine... "

your decision; might fail tho small chance you will succeed. I hope this is what you want to hear and it works for you.
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#4
I would say all the signs point to yes he is into you, but I'm basin this off of what you posted and my own recent experience. As cliche as it may sound it is different in every circumstance. However, there is a lot that you have mentioned that sounds like there's something there but he's afraid to show it. Been there and done that already myself! And like they say, "nothing ventured, nothing gained." in my situation, I just told the guy I'm gay and told him what I've been going through these past years. I didn't even have to tell him I was attracted to him cause he told me he was attracted to me but was afraid to say anything because he thought I was a "happily married straight man." Apparently I'm a better actor than I thought I was. Smile
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#5
So an update on our situation. We were at a fair and he constantly ditched me to hang out with girls and was hanging all over them. He showed little interest in having me around. But he did apologize so I don't know. And he is fine when it is just us. Well I have about had it and I am gonna leave it all up to him now. I am tired of just being important until someone better comes along. I am gonna find out if I am a priority or an option.
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#6
But please keep the advice coming, thanks Smile
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#7
Hi.

Your description of the way your friend is acting is making even me feel giddy. I think he is definitely feeling something for you, but he probably hasn't admitted it to himself even. Be honest with him, ask him, talk to him about it...You'll probably neve know otherwise. Takign all of the negative circumstances in account, especially his father, your friend is probably confused and kinda scare dto explore this. You have to see things from his point of view too, he's always been taught that homosexuality is wrong and part of him is probably terrified of it. That's the part of him that has him going after girls and desperately looking for a way to convince himself that he doesn't liek guys, that he doesn't like you. But from everything you described...he lieks you at least a bit. Be gentle about it and just talk to him. If he genuinely doesn't feel anything for you past friendly love, you don't lose anything...I think your friendship is strong enough.

Good luck!
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#8
The only thing about telling him the truth is the problems I would have with his dad. He is under 18 and I am 24 so I fear that his dad would chase me down with a gun, he hates gay people that much. Especially if I find out my friend doesn't like me that way.

What really gets me though is the way he acts in a crowd. Running away to chase after random girls, Last night he was touching all over several girls. But when we were just sitting and talking he spoke to me in a softer tone than everyone else. And kept bringing up things that we have done together.

I left the fair early without seeing him before I did. He went off with some group of girls and I walked the other way. But I got up and checked Facebook at about 1am that night and I had a message. It was from him asking me where I went? He said he was looking for me all evening. I just don't get it!

When I was taking him to his friends house the other day he jokingly asked if I wanted to go to the lake instead of taking him to his friends house. Because I had mentioned something about it before. We stopped and looked at cars on a lot cause he said he wasn't in a hurry to get there and he was already late. Hopefully he wanted to spend more time with me.

He has told me he would never want to disappoint his dad. So maybe he is in denial or maybe he really is straight and I am just wasting my time again. We still have plans to go camping in August so hopefully that goes well. He also did introduce everyone to me last night before I could ever say anything. It was like he was proud to have me there.

So it goes from running away to chase random girls. To its like I am the only person in the world and everything he does revolves around me. He says he knows all of my favorite songs and plays them when I am around. I have hit maximum levels of confused, UGH!!!!!!
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#9
Really the dad is the problem? Mine was the same but he turned back to HIS SON, can;t believe that is the only reason... A nice serious talk won;t hurt anyone
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#10
I'm sorry about you loosing your voice. It must be hard going through life unable to talk.

What, you can talk? Then why on earth are you playing all of these games instead of just asking/saying point blank?

I can get where he is coming from, he is in the closet (at the very least) and is terrified to make the first move.

Since everyone is telling him you are gay, obviously you are not as terrified for folk to know that you are one of those people.

It is clear with his conversation he wanted you to take the lead and open the closet door for him. You failed to, instead you made it a joke and crawled back further into your own closet with him.

Life is short. It is worth the risks to tell him how you feel.

The very worst he can do is tie you to the back bumper of his car/truck and drag you a few miles, then tie you to a fence to die. Do you think he would do that?

If no, then why are you so afraid to talk to him? Rejection? Seriously, wouldn't it be better to know he doesn't want you instead of this agony of trying to read his mind and have other people tell you what he thinks and feels? Wouldn't being slapped down hard be preferable to the pain and long suffering all of this game playing is doing?

If so, then pull him aside and tell him that you are gay and you are interested in him as a friend and hopefully as more.
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