Personally i came out, shortly afterwards went out with a guy for the first time, still together 8 years later &^.^
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For some, the slutty phase can last along time, especially if your still developing your sexual preferences. I don't condone or otherwise anyone who behaves like this, its a personal choice.
There are two things I would recommend if you are "trapped" in this cycle:
1. Regular testing is absolutely essential, both for your sexual health, and for the health of everyone else you have sex with.
2. Dont assume you have to be a slut to prove to yourself that you're gay
Ive never had a slutty phase and I don't think it makes me any less gay, although to be honest there are times when I sometimes wish I had, or at least experimented sexually a little more.
ObW
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Came out 4 years ago and have been on 6 dates in that time 4 of these this year. None of which ended in anything. I'm a lil shy and unconfident.
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well I came out @ 16 and have slept with 8 people one beaing a 6 month relationship so up to then i slept with roughly 3 a year will admit some were one night stands
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I came out when I was 24, and have been with 8 men sexually, 6 were honest attempts at long term relationships, the other two were part of my slut phase and were one night stands.
So I averaged 1 man every 2.75 years. But that is a bit off, since I just ended a 14 year relationship. Those first 8 years were pretty busy.... LOL
Through the years I have been 'surprised' to find that the image of promiscuity that the media and the community seems to paint is in contrast to what people I know report of their own experiences. Most of the gay guys I have discussed this with have far fewer experiences than one would imagine. Many are sort of like me, partnering with guys in honest attempts at relationships.
There are a few I know who have hundreds of conquests. I think they are rarer now days than say back in the 80's just before the fear of HIV/Aids curbed the behaviors or many.
I think there is a high percentage of young gay men who hit the scene sincerely seeking 'Mr. Right' and have visions of settling down with just one guy. But owning to various pressures they let go of that 'dream' and settle for random encounters and fall for the pressures of media, stereotypes and our culture to reach for promiscuity.
Ultimately it boils down to you what you want in life. If you feel that sex is more intimate and special and should be shared with 'The One' - they by all means stick to sex in relationships. If sex is more or less a pastime for you with no deeper meaning than a momentary pleasure, few people will crucify you.
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I have found alot of men trying to come out to me lately just for sake of a night stand, or may be a relationship, but I too am paranoid of catching anything, there are no gay condoms here in Pakistan, so I can't have safe sex, the regular condoms tear up in a few thrusts.
and Its almost two years I have been with my bf, I have never had sex with anyone but him, although I have kissed several guys in the past, but it never worked out with them because they wanted one night stand, and I didn't.
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