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Struggling to be me
#1
Hello

Im 21, gay and single for almost 2 years

Im struggling to be myself (gay). Im not the most confident of people im very shy and quite. i have no problem with being gay after all i am what i am. The problem i have is other people and how they will react.

I have dated 2 guys the 1st was awful the 2nd was ok and we parted as friends. I have never asked a guy out before and honestly have no idea how to do it. 1st guy i dated was afriend of a friend so she set us up. Second was online dateing site so wasnt a face to face ask out. ive been to lots of gay bars and clubs with friends for nights out etc, i have never been chatted up never chatted anyone up for that matter either in these places. My friend who is gay always gets chatted up when out. When im at these places i feel as though i dont quite belong i suppose like the runt of the litter. Its not that i dont like being there i do i just dont feel like i fit in.

I dont think the night scene is my place for meeting someone and need help with alternative ways of meeting guys (well just the one will do :p ) or even advice with the night life. Ive tried the online dateing option too and its not something id like to do again.

Any advice you can give would be great
look forward to hearing from you
Kind Regards
#2
Welcome to Gs just walk up say hi and ask them out or let them come to you but you have to be out there first
#3
Hi phoenix,

really feeling you there, felt exactly the same when I tried to venture into my boyfriend's old world. Clubbing per se isn't too bad but I've noticed gay clubs are less aggressive but also more bitchy; you're not gonna get in a fight but you might get a lot of sneers.

Given that you've already tried online dating I don't know what to suggest; depending on your area there are alternative gay nights a user on here recommended to me; being a metal fan and into films I felt pretty much the same. I think the only way to really blend in is to fight through the pain barrier and just keep going out until you feel comfortable with it. It's like the savannah out there, people pick up on fear and discomfort (like me telling you that will make you relax!) ... once you feel relaxed and comfortable you'll be matching your mate step for step.

Best of luck mate.
#4
My suggestion for meeting guys is joining some sort of gay social group. Have a bit of a google see what you can find.
Fred

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
#5
Strangely, Glasgow seems a bit unsociable in terms of activity groups for gay men. Just about the only one I could find that wasn't a club/pub/sauna is Pink UK's Gay Listing

Somebody please prove me wrong!
#6
Glasgow universities LGBT group are quite social and don't all.go curbing. They've had a bowling night and caellidh recently.

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#7
Hi, welcome to GS. I know how ya feel. I'm in the same sort of situation as you, but it's totally different. I'm not really the best person to go for advice on this sorta thing yet, however I know others will give you great advice (they already have).
#8
colinmackay Wrote:Glasgow universities LGBT group are quite social and don't all.go curbing. They've had a bowling night and caellidh recently.

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Colin, maybe you and your boyfriend ought to meet Phoenix and show him around a bit... just a suggestion though (?)
#9
princealbertofb Wrote:Colin, maybe you and your boyfriend ought to meet Phoenix and show him around a bit... just a suggestion though (?)

Yeah! That would work. You both live in the same city.
#10
hey

thanks for all your comments really appreciate it. Has been really helpful, will deffo be haveing a google for glasgow gay activities etc and hey why not lets just do the bars etc. :p

Thanks again
Kind Regards :biggrin:


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