Stuck and still struggling with myself

[Cridders88]

It is horrible, eh?
A tough one.
I know #DemFeels .

So what happens when you HAVE actually met someone? How do you act? And how do they respond?

I think my nervousness comes across quite a bit, if the other person is naturally quite chatty it puts me at ease, one guy was like that and we got on quite well but it didn't get past a few dates sadly as there wasn't really any spark there. I do still talk to him occasionally.

Another date I had with a different bloke was quite disastrous though, at least in my mind. I get so nervous and shy, I find it hard to initiate conversation, and there were loads of really AWKWARD silences, which just makes me panic even more.

Once I get to know people though, I become much calmer and more confident. It's just getting to that point.

I know it's all in my head and really I have nothing to worry about, but I just find it so tough. I am naturally a pretty anxious person, which really doesn't help matters sadly. I should probably seek therapy for it, but even the thought of that fills me with dread .

I need to take my own advice on post 2 really don't I? Lol

[Lexington]

You don't have to have all the answers before making a move. Most of us don't. It's just a matter of "I think I'd like to try this", and then trying it. It sounds like these resorts might be fun, so go. And maybe they won't be. But at least then you'll know "these resorts are not for me". You'll be another step ahead of where you are now.

Lex

[Barefoot]

I want to thank everyone who has responded, getting this out has helped and I've gotten some good feedback. I think once I get out and actually meet people instead of online, it will become clearer to me and I will find my way. I've been alone for almost all of my life but most of that is because I was always absorbed in other things and had friends around all the time. I'm going to just get out there and see what happens as I had planned. I have all summer to spend so I'm hoping to find my guy. At least I'll have many more friends. I'm a bit nervous about the "clothing optional" part but I suppose that's normal, not having ever experienced it. I'll be joining the resort membership Friday.

[Barefoot]

After reading your story I'm curious. How long have you been alone? I'm kind of hearing there may have been hurt or fear of being hurt. Could this have something to do with it. I know firsthand, you have to let go and live or at least die trying.

Just to answer your question, I've been alone for many years. No I'm not afraid of being hurt. I just over analyze things and worry about things too much. Too much time alone with my thoughts gets me in trouble sometimes.

[Rareboy]

I also suspect that you are not perhaps ready for a relationship. You need to open up to all the aspects of companionship...perhaps some constructive counselling would be a good thing as well. Over-analyzing and worrying is too much baggage to carry into a relationship with anyone else.

[Barefoot]

I've been over analyzing and worrying about everything, all of my life. It's been my nature to be that way. If I'm not ready by now I never will be at this late date. So perhaps it's my lot to be alone. I don't have many years left anyway and little to offer I suppose, except a life filled with baggage, collected over many years of wild living. And along with baggage, a plethora of serous health issues.

[longhardlife]

i agree. You want to make sure you can handle all of the ups and downs of a relationship without it keeping you up all night and driving you crazy. I do hope it all works out for you. Being alone isn't fun and over analyzing everything isn't fun either.