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childhood crushes.
I know some gay people can pinpoint back as early as eight years old when they realized they were gay. I can remember being a boy as young as eleven years old having a draw to guys, I don't know if I would call it a crush but it was highly based on looks. Honestly looks that were similar to a boy that was my age named Ryan. Ryan was a close friend, but there was something different about him, this was nearly twenty years ago, but when I think about Ryan I feel like that eleven year old boy again. Its this a crush or more?

Is this story similar to something you may have experienced?
What you're feeling is memories from your first love. It isn't a weird feeling, Embrace it.

It's a feeling not many people can have. Smile
RockerBlocks Wrote:What you're feeling is memories from your first love. It isn't a weird feeling, Embrace it.

It's a feeling not many people can have. Smile

It never dawned on me that this was a first love.
Well somewhat. When I was little I used to have a crush on the Finnish girl in the parallel class, Lets call her Marjam. Even though I'm gay, those feelings come back when I see her, which have confused me a lot. But she was the only one girl I felt that way about so... Meh We're all humans anyway nothing wrong with it Smile
Sometimes you need a bit of chaos in your life to be able to shrug off pitiful disdain about something meaningless.
Well, I didn't really begin to realize and recognize my sexuality until I was about 14 or so (yeah, yeah I was a late bloomer Confusedmile: ) So I never really had any childhood crushes that I can remember....

I DO recall being fascinated with the way the Prince from Disney's Beauty and the Beast was drawn when I first watched the film. If cartoon characters count, then The Beast/Prince was my first "crush" at age 7

...god I was a weird kid now that I think about it
I've had plenty of crushes going back to the fourth grade and a ton in high school. its never good when you make friends with the hot nice guy.
I thought a few boys were cute, but I was too busy trying to survive other crap in my life to have time for a crush, as close as I got was a hot teacher here and there, but they were married, so I never thought about them beyond "nice body Mr. so and so."
First crushes/first loves are the ones that stay with us the most as they are the ones that we learn from and we use as a yard stick for future loves
My first crush was a woman...Katherine Ross *(The Graduate/Butch Cassidy/Stepford Wives). I still think she is beautiful. lover looks alot like her...except the male version:mad:
My first crush was when I was in Kindergarten around age 5. I later found out she had a crush on me too and I remember her saying "you were the first person I had real feelings for."
I stayed in school with her until I was around 9 and then had to switch schools because I moved.
After that, I'd had her occasionally in my mind until more social networking sites came around (and when I was older of course) and actually found her on MySpace after around... 6 or 7 years.
At the time I had a girlfriend but I felt myself a sort of compassion for her.
She apparently felt the same despite being in a relationship at the time.
Nothing happened of it, but I still felt it kind of odd that after those many years some feelings were still there.

I'd say try and look him up if you have any possible way.
I know it's been a while for you, but maybe there are public records or old friends who know what happened.
Getting in touch might have some benefits.

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