Yes assuredly, is more about finding a balance with the person and whether or not you are truly comfortable with them or not

Hi artyboy, I'm reading through this thread and everyone here seems super positive and also, you've said you have a pretty similar sex life to most guys your age. I hope it's alright for me to ask advice for a friend; I have a friend, he's also gay and disabled, and he struggles a lot to meet guys. He is super sweet and cute, really friendly and positive. He hasn't really pinned down that it's to do with being disabled but he has said a couple of things that make it seem like that may play a part or at least make him a bit nervous... just wondering if you have any advice for a guy who's kinda out just a few years trying to find someone?

If the person your with is disabled you can still have little fun with them you just gotta work it and see what works and makes you other person happy

I don't think the original poster is back yet, at least I haven't seen him around.  I have a friend who's disabled, and I know he gets frustrated trying to meet guys.  His basic advice is, stay off the dating/hookup sites where everyone is looking for perfection...he says it's too depressing and tanks his self esteem.  One thing that has worked for him, he signs up for courses in stuff that he's interested in and has done some volunteer work.  Before COVID-19, he was doing volunteer work for Joe Biden at one of his local headquarters and met a really nice guy that he's gone out with a few times.  He met another guy at a one-day course in Indian cooking at a local adult education center.

Basically, he says that concentrating on his own interests brings him into contact with guys who have the same interests.  He doesn't look for LGBT events or events for the disabled...he's open to also meeting straight guys or women who could be potential friends. (and maybe introduce him to their gay friends)  He has a lot of physical problems, but he has such a positive attitude that you tend to not think of him as disabled.  Meeting people in those situations gives them a chance to see him as a person, not just some disabled guy.

I wonder what you mean by disabled. If the disability means he needs to be taken care of at all times, cannot survive alone and live an independent life, then no, I wouldn't. But if he's missing a limb or two, can't walk or something - I would.

@Tjemka88 Would you leave your partner if they become disabled where they need assistance to some degree? I also think that someone who is missing a limb or two probably would need some assistance. I do appreciate your honesty though.

Not sure if I posted in this thread without going back. I general, yes I would date someone who is disabled in some manner. Does it make it more difficult? Sure it does, but I do try to put myself in their position, probably much more difficult when the shoe's on the other foot. So if my partner were to become disabled I probably wouldn't up and leave them. I would at least try. It can be unbelivably difficult. Having helped taken care of my grandmother before she passed away from dementia it is not easy and while we all might have the best of intentions you might not be up for whatever comes up when someone is or becomes disabled. They might really need the help and may not have any other means of getting that help. So it is not an easy question to answer. Where the fine line at?

(05-25-2020, 06:33 PM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: @Tjemka88 Would you leave your partner if they become disabled where they need assistance to some degree? I also think that someone who is missing a limb or two probably would need some assistance. I do appreciate your honesty though.

Not sure if I posted in this thread without going back. I general, yes I would date someone who is disabled in some manner. Does it make it more difficult? Sure it does, but I do try to put myself in their position, probably much more difficult when the shoe's on the other foot. So if my partner were to become disabled I probably wouldn't up and leave them. I would at least try. It can be unbelivably difficult. Having helped taken care of my grandmother before she passed away from dementia it is not easy and while we all might have the best of intentions you might not be up for whatever comes up when someone is or becomes disabled. They might really need the help and may not have any other means of getting that help. So it is not an easy question to answer. Where the fine line at?

If we were already dating and I had developed feelings for him, I wouldn't leave. But if we just met and he had severe special needs, then most likely I wouldn't stay. I'm just being honest. 

Before making an opinion on something, I always try to put myself in other people's situations. And I know that if I suddenly became totally bedridden or if I wasn't able to take care of myself without the help of others, I wouldn't consider my partner an asshole if he didn't want to be with me anymore.