Anyone ever gone back in the closet?

[Hayden]

The subject title may be a little misleading. I came out as gay about six years ago, because at the time I felt that was the truth. However, growing up I had as much feeling for various girls as I did boys. I think once I decided to be honest about my attraction to men I sort of suppressed my attraction to women (which sounds kind of backwards, right?). There's been times when I've met really cute girls that whom I would have liked to pursue, but thought, "I can't do that. I told everyone I'm gay."

What I'm trying to say is that I think I'm bisexual. But I honestly feel more embarrassed and ashamed of that than when I was coming to terms with being attracted to guys. It would mortifying to tell my fam and friends that "Hey, you know how I told you I was exclusively emotionally and physically attracted to men, and how you had to give up all hope of biological grandchildren, and how difficult it was for all of us but how you came through and ended up being supportive and all that? Yeah, well... um... I kinda changed my mind."

Being gay at least feels concrete and definite. I really don't want to come off as confused. But hell, maybe I am. Has anyone else felt this way? Am I over caring what others might think? I really wish we could disregard the whole label thing and there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place.