Social phobias

[Sil]

Hey everyone,

I'm starting to think I might be agrophobic, I'm not entirely sure. I went out to the gym to get some excercise tonight and honestly pretty much everything about being outside put me on edge. I'm fine in my streets but it's linked to a busy main road full of bars and pubs, and lots of loud students. I'm pretty much set on heading back before I've even got there.

So I got to the gym and it was pretty busy, lots of people rushing in and out, it looked almost like peak hours. I finished my cigarette outside and sorta willed myself on to go in and do my excercise and workout but just couldn't do it. I didn't expect any harm to befall me or anything ridiculous, I just didn't want to be around that many people I dind't know. I think I felt a bit fat and not entirely comfortable even though I'm not really overweight that much.

Same thing happened on my birthday lately, just hated being out and about in clubs full of so many people and things going on put me on edge. It really burns me out, I'm exhausted when I get home from being so tense while I'm out. It's not just the gym, but being out in town, anywhere busy. It's sad because I didn't tell anyone I just came straight home, they'd think I was being weird; I just say I went and it was good.

It really creeps up on me, part of the reason I wasn't good with people in my old job; I'm really starting to think it's actually holding me back in life and I need to do something about it. I came home and just felt so dissapointed in myself, it should be the easiest thing just to mix and not be bothered by these things. Does this sound like Agrophobia to anyone? I'm familiar with paranoia and it's quite different...