11-16-2010, 06:41 AM
Hi!
I'm new to the forum, been having some trouble understanding my emotions as of lately thought someone might be able to help?
I talk to my boyfriend and he tells me it's good to tell him how I feel and that he will help me work things through and I love him for saying so and supporting me 100 percent.
The problem is that I can't seem to shake the feeling that I've desperately been wanting to shake.
It begins with my jealousy. We have had a very interesting year and a half. I've been away and we have been together, separated, broken up, long distanced. Just about every form of relationship we have been going through and well monogamy is something I am not sure is there.
How do I say this without messing up either of our sides? We have both been not monogamous, though he comforts me saying he has been tried and true except when he contracted stds. I suppose it was fine at first, he warned me, but I'm left with doubt. And I have been in and out of separations with him. I have also been not faithful, but I'm trying very hard to have temperance in this issue.
Still I'm fighting through all this resentment. It troubles me to know that he and I will continue to have non-monogamous issues coming up. To make things worse one of his passions is to photograph the male nude. I really want to embrace him and his loves, but I'm feeling torn up inside.
And yet, I am worried that all my worries stem from a past relationship that had loads of promiscuity and lies. It is hard to think or understand if my feelings are valid or if I am just being irrational? He is very trusting. Still red flags go off sometimes.
All I know is I've bonded with him much more strongly as of lately. And he has been a patient god with me, waiting for us to settle. But I can't seem to get to that point because my stomach is tying up in knots every time I think about promiscuity.
I'm new to the forum, been having some trouble understanding my emotions as of lately thought someone might be able to help?
I talk to my boyfriend and he tells me it's good to tell him how I feel and that he will help me work things through and I love him for saying so and supporting me 100 percent.
The problem is that I can't seem to shake the feeling that I've desperately been wanting to shake.
It begins with my jealousy. We have had a very interesting year and a half. I've been away and we have been together, separated, broken up, long distanced. Just about every form of relationship we have been going through and well monogamy is something I am not sure is there.
How do I say this without messing up either of our sides? We have both been not monogamous, though he comforts me saying he has been tried and true except when he contracted stds. I suppose it was fine at first, he warned me, but I'm left with doubt. And I have been in and out of separations with him. I have also been not faithful, but I'm trying very hard to have temperance in this issue.
Still I'm fighting through all this resentment. It troubles me to know that he and I will continue to have non-monogamous issues coming up. To make things worse one of his passions is to photograph the male nude. I really want to embrace him and his loves, but I'm feeling torn up inside.
And yet, I am worried that all my worries stem from a past relationship that had loads of promiscuity and lies. It is hard to think or understand if my feelings are valid or if I am just being irrational? He is very trusting. Still red flags go off sometimes.
All I know is I've bonded with him much more strongly as of lately. And he has been a patient god with me, waiting for us to settle. But I can't seem to get to that point because my stomach is tying up in knots every time I think about promiscuity.
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