Learning to trust in a new relationship. .

[Jonathanp55]

So I have been seeing this guy for almost 3 months. It is going great. I'm stayijg with him most nights and we just seem comfortable around eachother. My issue. I have trust issues. My last relationship was built around cheating and not giving in the relationship. I was destroyed bexauW of it. I did end it with my X. But u was still destroyed. This guy I am with now has given me no reason not to trust. Yet. I can't jump in and let go. I am always taking a step back just in case something happens. I have alot of feeling for this guy. I want to fully trust him. How do I do that?

[Anonymous]

Never had a relationship and know i would not be able to trust and i doubt the other person or anyone would ever want or put up with me.

[kindy64]

Make sure he knows you have these issues. Talk about boundaries, and deal breakers. Is chatting with someone online cheating? sexting?

My fiance also has trust issues. He told me about them, #1 big deal breaker, I cheat, he leaves.

You need to be open and honest with him.

[Borg69]

You never jump into any situation head first and blind. No matter how great it seems.

As in all things in life, take little steps, check your surroundings, assess the situation, test the waters/your footing as you go, and take another step further.

Trust is earned. Give him the time he needs to earn that trust. I'm not saying to play head games, but occasionally there are little tests you can give him now and then and see how he responds. Don't have him so high on a pedestal that you ignore those red flags, but also don't spend every waking moment looking for red flags either.

Maybe the last guy was a jerk. That doesn't mean they ALL are. Punishing this one for the last one's mistakes isn't fair. You've learned what warning signs to look out for. Learn and move on.

[princealbertofb]

So I have been seeing this guy for almost 3 months. It is going great. I'm stayijg with him most nights and we just seem comfortable around eachother. My issue. I have trust issues. My last relationship was built around cheating and not giving in the relationship. I was destroyed bexauW of it. I did end it with my X. But u was still destroyed. This guy I am with now has given me no reason not to trust. Yet. I can't jump in and let go. I am always taking a step back just in case something happens. I have alot of feeling for this guy. I want to fully trust him. How do I do that?

I'm sure he's likely to be as honest with you as you can be with him. You might share with him that you have those trust issues, and maybe let him know that you are still raw from the damage of the last relationship. If he cares, he'll try to alleviate those feelings. With a bit of luck, your previous experience will make you more aware of what you'll accept and what you won't. Just learn to lay down some rules that work for both of you. If a rule cannot work for one of the people in the relationship, it's always going to be a problem and a lack of balance will lead to frustration.
How much clinginess can you or he accept? What about phone apps for finding partners? What about meeting with other people? How exclusive do you want to be? How much free time (to himself or to yourself) do you both need? Have a look into financial matters too as money problems can also be deal breakers. Have you sorted how often you can see one another? Or whether one of you is going to live with the other, or whether you're going to live some of your lives separately?