Social outcast

[Marvinteck]

Im an social outcast and always have been. There is no two ways about it when I say Im definitely introverted. I suffer from social phobia and selective mutism . I enjoy the solitude of being by myself some days but feel very very alone on other days. I dont feel like I really fit into society. I have very few if any good friends outside of cyberspace. I have never been in a relationship (serious or casual for that matter). Dating and finding somebody to spend the rest of my life with seem to be pipe dreams that are out of my reach at this point. Im very prone to feeling depressed and lonely. In the past I have thought about ending my life because I hurt so much on the inside from being such an outcast from society. I can speak freely online and socialize with people. The one thing I long for the most is human touch. Talking to people online isnt the same as having an heart to heart in person with them. There is almost nothing I would not give for the opportunity of cuddling and snuggling up to a person. I just want to love and be loved. Can any of my fellow LGBT's relate or am I just the exception to the rule?