11-21-2011, 08:38 PM
I'm 35 years old and have been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend Mark for 15 years. He and I met when we were practically kids and "greg up" together attending the same university, moving around the country chasing our dreams and ultimately settling down here. We have a house and successful business together.
About a year ago, I met "Rene", in a very random way and we quickly become instantly bonded like we'd known each other forever. I think that time was the happiest that I've ever been. Rene and his long time partner hung out with Mark and I and the 4 of us got along so well - but Rene and I just clicked and clicked. Best friends ever.
A few months ago, Rene confronted me privately and told me he had fallen in love with me and he told me he knew I'd fallen in love with him too. He told me he wanted us to be together. I was shocked at first and then realized that I'd been lying to myself and that I had fallen for him.
I confessed to Mark about my feelings for Rene but since Mark and I have been together so long, I decided the best thing to do was to cut off all contact with Rene and try to move on. Rene agreed and we didn't speak for about 3 months. Secretly I've missed him every day but kept trying to forget him and focus on Mark.
My brain says: stick with Mark. You know exactly what kind of a partner he is. Your business depends on you being together. You grew up together and share the same friends. Your family adores him. I'm just not sure if I'm still IN love with him.
My heart says: go with Rene and take a chance. I've never felt anything like my connection for Rene. As a lifelong atheist, my feelings for him are the closest I've ever come to "spiritual" - the deepest I've ever felt for another human being. I have no idea if we would be compatible partners or not but I love him.
Do I follow my heart or brain? Help!
About a year ago, I met "Rene", in a very random way and we quickly become instantly bonded like we'd known each other forever. I think that time was the happiest that I've ever been. Rene and his long time partner hung out with Mark and I and the 4 of us got along so well - but Rene and I just clicked and clicked. Best friends ever.
A few months ago, Rene confronted me privately and told me he had fallen in love with me and he told me he knew I'd fallen in love with him too. He told me he wanted us to be together. I was shocked at first and then realized that I'd been lying to myself and that I had fallen for him.
I confessed to Mark about my feelings for Rene but since Mark and I have been together so long, I decided the best thing to do was to cut off all contact with Rene and try to move on. Rene agreed and we didn't speak for about 3 months. Secretly I've missed him every day but kept trying to forget him and focus on Mark.
My brain says: stick with Mark. You know exactly what kind of a partner he is. Your business depends on you being together. You grew up together and share the same friends. Your family adores him. I'm just not sure if I'm still IN love with him.
My heart says: go with Rene and take a chance. I've never felt anything like my connection for Rene. As a lifelong atheist, my feelings for him are the closest I've ever come to "spiritual" - the deepest I've ever felt for another human being. I have no idea if we would be compatible partners or not but I love him.
Do I follow my heart or brain? Help!
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