02-06-2012, 11:55 PM
Hi everyone,
Sorry to intrude on your message boards, but I am in desperate need of advice and would appreciate it from a gay perspective. My husband and I have been together for 15 years..5 dating, 10 married. Throughout the years I have suspected him of cheating with other women several times (even when we were dating), I've only been able to prove it once. I wanted to leave but he cried and begged me to stay promising that it would never happen again. I have 3 children with him to think about, so I stayed. I should also say that he has problems with alcohol, cocaine and porn. When were dating, we partied a lot, but after we got married, I stopped all the crazy behavior and he seems to have continued. He is very sexual and will openly flirt with other women in front of me. I am not a jealous person and have always kind of laughed it off. Anyway, after the affair I caught him in, I used some spyware on the computer and got a hold of his email password. Horrible I know, but i just couldn't trust him. Nothing really happened until recently. One night he called me from work and said he had taken on an extra project and would have to work through the night (this is how the previous affair started..him working overnight with another woman). So I had a bad feeling and checked his email the following day. Much to my surprise I found out that he had responded to Craigslist ads for men seeking men. He had this email going back and forth from another man about how he wanted a blow job from him. There was some pretty discriptive stuff about what my husband wanted him to do. My husband told the guy he wanted to wear a condom, the guy responded that he didn't like sucking on condoms, and my husband said that was OK, just thought he would ask. It seems they were trying to figure out a time to meet but nothing was ever established and I got the feeling the other guy decided against it. I thought to myself that maybe this was a one time deal, but the way he spoke he seemed so sure of himself, like he had done this before. I don't know what to think right now..I am so confused. Is he curious, gay, or bi? I was hoping maybe someone could give me some insight. I am walking around in a daze right now. He works with several gay men at work. At a party we went to I observed how extra friendly he was around them, but didn't think too much of it. Now I am wondering. Or maybe I am just overthinking it. Any advice would be truly appreciated. Thank you!! And if you're going to tell me to just talk to him about it, I guarantee you he is going to deny, deny , deny.
Sorry to intrude on your message boards, but I am in desperate need of advice and would appreciate it from a gay perspective. My husband and I have been together for 15 years..5 dating, 10 married. Throughout the years I have suspected him of cheating with other women several times (even when we were dating), I've only been able to prove it once. I wanted to leave but he cried and begged me to stay promising that it would never happen again. I have 3 children with him to think about, so I stayed. I should also say that he has problems with alcohol, cocaine and porn. When were dating, we partied a lot, but after we got married, I stopped all the crazy behavior and he seems to have continued. He is very sexual and will openly flirt with other women in front of me. I am not a jealous person and have always kind of laughed it off. Anyway, after the affair I caught him in, I used some spyware on the computer and got a hold of his email password. Horrible I know, but i just couldn't trust him. Nothing really happened until recently. One night he called me from work and said he had taken on an extra project and would have to work through the night (this is how the previous affair started..him working overnight with another woman). So I had a bad feeling and checked his email the following day. Much to my surprise I found out that he had responded to Craigslist ads for men seeking men. He had this email going back and forth from another man about how he wanted a blow job from him. There was some pretty discriptive stuff about what my husband wanted him to do. My husband told the guy he wanted to wear a condom, the guy responded that he didn't like sucking on condoms, and my husband said that was OK, just thought he would ask. It seems they were trying to figure out a time to meet but nothing was ever established and I got the feeling the other guy decided against it. I thought to myself that maybe this was a one time deal, but the way he spoke he seemed so sure of himself, like he had done this before. I don't know what to think right now..I am so confused. Is he curious, gay, or bi? I was hoping maybe someone could give me some insight. I am walking around in a daze right now. He works with several gay men at work. At a party we went to I observed how extra friendly he was around them, but didn't think too much of it. Now I am wondering. Or maybe I am just overthinking it. Any advice would be truly appreciated. Thank you!! And if you're going to tell me to just talk to him about it, I guarantee you he is going to deny, deny , deny.
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