Self Esteem?

[ChrisR005]

Well. don't I feel sheepish. Younglad I'll PM you.

[Bookworm]

Chris - I cant PM you for some reason.

Hi younglad. I think its due to your post count; you need to have a certain amount of posts before you can send pm's. Keep visiting the forums, chatting and interacting and you will get your post count up in no time.

[dfiant]

Self confodence isn't something you can learn from a book, so burn those bloody things. Self-confidence and esteem comes from living and experiencing.

Find something that you are good at and interested in, involve yourself in it, meet people with similar interests, build friendships <---and that is one place where you will learn confidence.

[Vigilias]

If only working on these complex issues were as simple as these Airport-Waiting Self-Help Books make it seem.

I often work in metaphores to illustrate a point and you say that your self-asteem issues seem to work like a vicious circle... you feel worthless and unworthy, unable to attract the friends and partner/s you seem to desire so you shut your self away.

You are effectivly walling your self up in a huge impregnable fortress and pulling up the drawbridge to protect yourself. In shutting your self in, you're also leeping others out.

Maybe you might want to take advantage of one of the talking therepies... counselling. That or try better quallity self-help books!

You'll get there, be gentle with your self.

Good luck!

[Lunar]

Confidence and a positive outlook can go a long way. Think of what types of hobbies interest you and build upon them. This will help to build character and can help you find common ground with other individuals.

[monk]

Don't ask me - I never had any.

[2ngukhminh]

I'm quite surprised that some of you here have self-esteem problem. I usually think it's more of an Asian issue due to the way people are raised. Like me, for example, I'm Vietnamese. Vietnamese people - now they may change - tend to dislike ones who show too much confidence. They think that showing self confidence is the same as being arrogant. My parents always teach me to be humble. If I know something, I should keep silent unless I am asked. In class, if I want to say something, I have to raise my hand and wait for the teacher to response. Saying without asking permission is considered impolite and rude.

Since I lived in the US nine years ago, I have changed to be more confident, but I can't reach the level of self-esteem that American students have.

I guess this is the reason I'm still single.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Sounds to me you are using the wrong measuring stick here to measure yourself by.

My Friends are --------- (fill in the blank) well that's them, that ain't you.

Based on what you said: "further down the line" than i am - they have got established friendships, stable jobs, maybe even partners,

You don't measure up a stallion to a bull - two different creatures and neither measures up to the other. Each has its own attributes and particular strengths, each also has its own foibles and its particular weaknesses. Thus we don't see cowboys riding on bulls (outside of rodeo), and we don't see horses be rounded up for the makings of a great BBQ.

So which are you? Stallion using a Bull to measure up to, or a Bull measuring up to a Stallion?

Stallions sure look pretty, but bulls have far greater strength and pure power and stamina. Sure no one rides a bull to go tiling at windmills, but then bulls don't cotton to being ridden. :tongue: