is he cheating on me???

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Your tag says you are a gay man in a monogamous relationship.

This:

so we kept in contact and we promised each other that if we were going to have sex with anyone whether intentional or not that we would inform each other and that we were allowed to do so as long as we informed each other about it

Is not monogamy, this is an open relationship.

Monogamy is where both partners are true to one another and have no sex outside of that relationship. If either one of you is open to the idea of being able to go out and mess around with other guys, then you can't say this is monogamy.

Since this is an open relationship, then really he can't cheat on you. Its impossible. You gave him permission to mess around as much as he pleases.

Cheating implies he went out and had sex without your permission. Honey, he has your permission to go out and do whatever. HE can't cheat, no matter how many men he goes to bed with, what sex acts he performs. An open relationship takes the whole cheating aspect out of the rulebook.

If you want monogamy, then you have to take out that open sex policy.

Weather he tells you or not is not really a good deal for you. You are already the jealous type, so even telling you he had sex is going to turn into a resentment planting session for you.